Saturday, April 30, 2005

Jersey Girl stuff and askew site stuff

Truth, dare, promise,or repeat. Laughing here. Today I got my long awaited treasure. Jersey Girl, Written and directed By Kevin Smith. Also in the BOX was my copy of his book "Silent Bob Speaks" (also signed) which has now gone to it’s third printing (GREAT JOB KEVIN). Included in the box was an extra copy of the book and an invoice for another customer.

Very briefly I thought I’d just send the extra copy to NYPINTA. Then I saw the invoice and did the right thing, I contacted the company both by email and via a voice mail message; thus informing them of their error. After all I waited what seemed like ages to get my copy (2 weeks... not long but it is when YOU REALLY want something) and I felt bad for the other customer. So, PINTA, lmfao, your gonna have to try to catch yourself a copy of this book in the 3rd printing, I reckon.

And your going to have to wait because of the ramification’s of a screw up might have on this third party. After all she did order off of the first printing and might be one of them nut job’s that go ape-fucking-shit if she were to get the 3rd release and make a major fucking media issue about it.

So, Kevin, I am sparing you the potential shit slinging. Arnt’ I just a nice and honest and sweet person. Ya, got you fooled. But I did do the right thing. ANYWAY.

I did do something completely in character for me. I compared the sig’s on the DVD and the two books and not one look’s remotely like the other, so I would thus be lead to believe that perhaps Kevin doesn’t do all his signing. *SIGH*. Darn.

Let me tell you why the movie Jersey Girl is so darn special. I don’t get out to the movies. We do subscribe to STARZ via our satellite service, and I have caught a few part’s of the movie. I think I’ve seen the whole thing, I’m not sure. I have tried to catch it from start to finish but something always comes up or it is not playing when I get the chance to watch it. Horses and a child seem to interfere with stuff like that. But what I’ve seen, I am captivated by the movie. It’s like a wake up call. A slap in the face. Mr Smith say’s something like "it is a movie about relationships with fathers" and perhaps that is why I am so drawn to the movie, never having had a father and now raising a child without a father present. I am interested. It has my attention. It caught me off guard.

I have looked in all the places within a 50 mile radius of here and have not once been able to find the book. I ordered the DVD from a major retailer online and the order went thru, got the confirmation and the next day the cancelation due to a large back order. I then ordered the DVD through a MAJOR book chain online, twice, and the same thing happened (obviously both times or I wouldn’t be bitching.). I then called the book retailer’s online support and asked them what the fuck was going on. They said the DVD was in stock in their warehouse and did not know what happened to the two orders. SO, I order it through them; right there on the phone and the next day got a cancelation notification.

This sent me on a man hunt. Kevin Smith. Damn it man, your going to send me a copy of this damn movie because for some damn reason I can’t get the f**king thing in this part of Georgia. I really did not see anything in it that would make it fall under the f**ked Bible belt rules and regulations.

What I found instead was a really fucking awesome web page. Which hell bent to get a copy of this movie, I paid the $2 and joined his message boards. Only to be Bedazzled. Ok, so I did order the book before the movie. BUT, I did that because I was so IMPRESSED with his post’s and the devoted post’s of the people that "chat" at .

So, now I’ve got my stuff from the askew online stash. I’m happy. I’m even happier knowing I’m honest enough to have informed the site of the mistake and I am getting ready to watch my MOVIE from start to finish UNINTERRUPTED.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Insane Blathering on's about my mom's insanity - LONG

Mood today - Somber
Thought of the day? - If life gives you a bowel of cherries, throw the fuckers out, they are just full of pits.
Song- ANY CD I have been able to find that is hard and heavy and loud.

I happened to call my best friend last night, well, ok, my only friend and ask her a favor. Only to realize the thought of what I was asking her to do; potentially terrified her as much as it did me. I may be wrong. She might just be cold and heartless and unwilling to help me. Or perhaps she was just thinking "No Thank You, I really don’t want to get involved again." And the topic swiftly was manipulated by her onto some movies and other things.

On the thought of her, (name changed for privacy sake) her mom Gep, had made the comment to me a few years ago about how I raised my mother. And regretfully, Gep was correct. Which oddly occurred to me today as I was cooking supper. I did a piss poor job raising my mother; what the fuck am I doing raising a child? And on the topic of the most worthless person in the universe (my mother) I need to say this... She was the all mighty great white hunter. Or... shepherd would be a more appropriate term. She would take in any wounded animal or person. She would love anyone and manipulate everyone to like her and think she was way cool.

Nothing horrified me more then when one of the Jen’s started coming to our apartment in Oakbrook to make my mom coffee and breakfast in the mornings before school. Then Tommy got in on the MOM kick and came over in the mornings to walk my dog before school so I could help Jen attend to mom. You know. Make sure she got up and was going to go to work before I went to school. Blah blah blah. And ALL I ever heard from those two was how cool my mom .. this or that... Granted my home life was a slight bit more liberated then theirs. Jen had a divorce going on between her parents and having a fucked up little brother; I can only imagine my single mom with no dad any where in tow, probably was sanity to her. Tom had to deal with a mom that worked all the time, a sibling or two and an abusive father. But I think he came over (and at all odd hours) partially because his father trusted my mom (eek) and partially to get away from 5-6 people living in a 3 bedroom apartment.

But they failed to recognize that there was no sanity at my home. They were never there when there was no food or milk. But there was always Kool-aid, often though no sugar but powered sugar. FOR THE RECORD... if you make Kool-aid with powered sugar... it gives you this really fucked up sugar high. Ask PInTA about that one. They also never saw the bruises on my body from random beatings. They were not there to hold mom’s head up because she was puking her brains out from being so drunk. They never saw her so high she passed out. They didn’t have to deal with the endless men that paraded into the house to fuck her. And the insane blathering from her mouth. It is a wonder she could hold a job say nothing about holding 2 or 3 at one time. Did she save her insanity for me?

I got the high honor of balancing her check book and paying the bill’s. I was the master forger of her signature. *SIGH* I got blamed when grandma collapsed. I came home from school and found g’ma passed out on the floor and moaning in pain. I did what I was taught to do my entire LIFE. I called 911. They would be like 45 minutes before they could come to the house. I called my cousin G and C and the guy I was dating at the time M. Between the 4 of us we got her in the car and to the hospital. Where she was diagnosed with having her appendix rupture. I called mom from the hospital (she worked right there in Albany) and told her what was going on and where we were so on and so forth. She got to the ER and beat the crap out of me in front of like 200 people (who did nothing) because I didn’t call her first. So, there are some memories of my life with my mom.

Now, why I called my best friend. I got a phone call yesterday from one of my aunt’s telling me her daughter and grand children just moved into my mom’s house. blah blah blah. MY MOM will take in 3 people, BUT left me alone and stranded when I got the fucking shit beat out of me by my daughters father. When my car dealership closed, did my mother offer to let me come home until I could find another job? No. She said. Her exact words.. "I think we are good friends, and I don’t want to ruin that by having you and a baby live with me" Well she said that before the baby was born and when she called to harass me for some reason or another and I being stupid told her what B did to me and how I was going to look for another apartment and not tell him.

I genuinely do care about the relatives that moved in with mom. Considering the last set of relatives to move in with her had a shotgun aimed at them; in Lu of one of mom’s irrational mental fart’s. I asked my friend to call mom’s and have the relative call me. To which she (the friend) promply pushed the buck on someone else and changed the subject (forgiven).

It is a trap damn it. If I call. It will start mom harassing me all over again. If I call, I will be starting something. THAT is how my mom thinks. So, I can’t call. I won’t call. With my luck mom will have advanced with the age and gotten caller ID then she’d have my damn phone number! Fuck, I don’t even have my phone number. Blog on that for tomorrow.

Not really my post for the day but a picker uper for NYPITA

How to really Annoy Other People
1) Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies
2) In the memo field of all your checks write "for sensual massage".
3) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
4) Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
5) If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen
6) Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions,, "to keep them tuned up."
7) Reply to everything someone says with "that’s what YOU think"
8) Practice making fax and modem noises.
9) Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "CC" them to your bosses.
10) Make beeping noises when you back up.
11) Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
12) Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13) Disassemble your pen and "accidently" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14) Holler random numbers while someone is counting or adding.
15) Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green and insist to others that you "like it that way."
16) Staple papers in the middle of the page or on the right side.
17) Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18) Honk and wave to strangers
19) Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
21) type only in lowercase.
22) don t use any punctuation either
23) Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24) Repeat the following conversation a dozen times:
"Do you hear that? What? Never mind, it’s gone now."
25) As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26) Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
27) Ask people what gender they are.
28) While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29) Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30) Sing along at the opera, even if you don’t know the words.
31) Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem dosen’t rhyme.
32) Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles"

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

a real sunburn...  Posted by Hello

bling bling blang blang blog blog

ahhh. I reckon I ought to blog. First thing I want to touch base on is the southern terms. It has taken me quite awhile to figure out where down yonder, over yonder, yonder.... is... it is over there or down the street or that way. I've disputed for several years the impact of "carrying" someone "down yonder". I have a hard time understanding why you can't drive someone down the street. if you always carry someone or something somehwere is it really good for your back? There is this odd word that is used, more commonly by elderly southern gentlemen, "aight". I think it is the equivelant of an affirimative on something or a combo of all right. IFFY. what? I'm feeling IFFY. you are? WTF is IFFY. well, i;ve learned it is somewhere between here and yonder. joking. not sure what iffy is. maybe I could be feeling aight and i could be feeling bad. Oh and ppl don't get mad down here they show their ass. this term is also used if someone is being a jerk. There is more but I can't think of it off the top of my head, my thoughts are kinda IFFY.

Freckles hurt his foot. He has an abcess in the hoove. How why... damned if I know. I was thinking about OD-ing Henry on NYQuil then asking him if I could bum $7.50 to have the hoove lanced, think he'd fall for it or show his ass? But then I read TRINAMICK's endearing article on bodily fluids and how the over 30 group love to talk about them and I'm hesitatant to ask anyone for monitary assistance to lance my horses hoove so he can ooze puss all over the place. I rather favored the idea of taking a pic of it when it does happen and posting it just for trinamick :D. But I do want to share this link and ask you all to read about ZIGGY. That's my cause.

A lot of you know I'm a softie when it comes to animals. I came across this site a few years ago and it took me almost a week to read all of Ziggy's tale. I bawled my fucking eyes out. I know they still have his story there, I'm not sure if they still have all the pic's but his pic of when they found him is on the upper left hand side of the screen.

Well I need to go out and soak my horses foot in epsom salt's (FUN FUN) and warm water for ten minutes and then feed them.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

missed me missed me Posted by Hello

what was that? Posted by Hello

10 seconds before water bomber Posted by Hello

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Leave Jen and Ben ALONE please

Hi. Grrr. I wish the media and the general public would leave Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck ALONE. Honest. They deserve their happiness. I just read this article (ok so i'm a little guilty, i read some of the shit they are printing about the happy couple) anyway this article says that helicopters were flying overhead during her birthday party and thus Ben did not propose to her then. PRIVACY. C'mon. They do work and work hard for thier money and they do deserve a little bit of anominity. A birthday of all days. Can't the media just let them be? I wish the two of them luck. AND LOT's of IT and even better... REALLY REALLY GOOD BODY DOUBLES to throw all of the "groupies" and "media" off on the BIG DAY!!!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

panic attacks

you know, i never really knew what opus's anxiety closet was really about until i started to have these things called panic' attacks. Now. Hmmm. I have had a few that have floored me and i knew beyond knowledge that i was having a heart attack just to find out that my head is fucking with me. like there are not enuf ppl in the universe to fuck with jenn, i got to get on the shirmp boat too. they treat them most commonly with a drug called xanax. woah nellie. anyway i've had a lot of minor ones and to date 3 bigs one. last nights big one lasted almost 2 hrs. i called the ask a nurse hotline and asked them about panic attacks. REALLY REASSURED here. the woman said it is virtually impossible to tell the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack or panic attack. BUT... it is normal for a really bad panic attack to last upwards and exceeding two hours. YIKES. but normally a heart attack is done and over with either or not severe ramifications. that you could use the stair climbing technique... if you can climb a flight of stairs after the attack is over then it was a panic attack. if it were a heart attack you'd be sweaty winded and have a rapid heart beaat halfway thru. well fuck.

quite obviously it was panic. it took almsot 2 hrs to completly stop. scared me. reminded me it happened last night with the little echo it gives. AND why do i get blessed with these fucking things? i being the bold one. I being the strong one. I being the one that will stand up to society and tell them what side of my ass they can kiss if they think i'll convert to their ways? That's what I want to know. Why am I having panic attacks>?

Saturday, April 16, 2005

agree or not - re taxes

Recently, to save my uncle from having to pay fed tax of $750, I said claim my daughter seeing I am not working and can't claim child support and there for am exempt from filing taxes. I think that by doing that it would be fair to give me at least half of the tax return (he got back after the fee's $1800 and change. But I said something to that affect and want to know what I was told? I'll give you $100. I think that is bullshit. And I won't allow my daughter to be claimed next year. Do you agree or not?

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Peoduct Review

Product Review:
Product: John Frieda radiant red color last conditioner
by line: "For deeper, richer shades of red hair"

My history: living in the Deep South, it is really hard not to be blonde. The sun reeks havoc on your lovely mane. I being a natural red head and having sever prejudices against blondes, really hate to see summer come. I will get almost toe head blonde if I don’t head it off before it starts. I have learned that if you want to stay red in the summer in Georgia, you dye your hair "Mahogany" brown. Thus as you see in my last picture (2 days after dye) your hair turns red. Or maybe it is just the red headed curse and once a red head the red pigment is always there so no matter what color you actually dye your hair you are going to get a red tone.

Having said that: Went shopping the other day and purchased above stated product. O.K., purchased it out of sheer protest. I saw the commercials on television about other color products, blondes and brunettes but no, not red heads. Nothing like feeling like a red headed step child by a major distributor, I tell ya. And when you are looking for your normal product on the shampoo row, it is kinda hard not to miss the bright red container that has RED in big bold white letters. I stood there a moment shocked. I picked up the $5.34 (8.45 oz )bottle of conditioner and read the label. I set it back on the shelf. Momentarily I was pissed. I picked up my normal product and put it in the cart. Walked around the store and picked up the other few things we needed and then went back to the shampoo isle. What bothered me is that they didn’t bother to advertise for red heads. And you would think they would advertise to the elite group of red heads, us being so damn different. The long and short, I bought the product.

Here is what happened: My hair feels great. As far as conditioner goes, this is the best feeling stuff I ever had on my hair. It smells ok. Borderline like dye. OH... thought I got my period in the shower, after I rinsed it , I looked at the run off water and it was blood red and I kinda panicked then realized it smelled like dye and must be rinse off from the conditioner. So, now anxious I jump out of the shower and blow dry my hair to see if it changed color. Well it did. It went from a nice shade of red (below picture) to .. um... is Sun burst a shade? It is kinda gold and yellow with red highlights. um... like the leaves in the fall in the Hudson Valley. I am glad I got the product for the darker red heads, if I got the product for the lighter red head’s I’d be blonde. Laughing here. But it does make my hair shine ohhh so nicely and it really feels great. *sigh*

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Parental right of passage

I never said I was nice. I never said I was a great mom. Today. Well. Today I proved that you can be mean to your kids. While running errands I spied a package of "bombers". For those of you who don't know what "bombers" are... Laughing here... they are the small balloon's that you hook up the water faucet and then fill with water. $1.49 for 200 of the little buggers. (BIG GRIN). My daughter never saw it comming. We got home about 6 hours after we'd orginally left the house. Did I mention my daughter is a natural blonde ... and tried and true on the whole blonde joke thing. Ok. So we are hot. It is now muggy becasue the storms that have been comming in all day have avoided us. GRRR. Well, Molly, is such a good girl. She makes herself busy putting stuff away. I... the bad parent... sneak outside and start filling water balloon's. (BIG GRIN - c'mon ya'll can smile... you know what's comming). I get about ten of the suckers loaded. I perch about 20 feet from the back door and start to scream like crazy. Molly... (and g'ma and g'pa) come running. Molly gets ... say about five feet out the door and I toss a water balloon at her. "Catch" I yell. She tries like heck to catch it. For one percarious second the balloon is in her hand and "SPLUNK SPLASH KABBBBOOOM" She blinks. Then yell's, "OK mom, You got to throw another one, that one broke."

Now, didn't we like all yell and scream and shit when we got pelted with water balloon's? Never ONCE do I remember asking for more. So I toss the water balloon's at her and it ends up being a family event. The dog tries to catch them, one got away and rolled across the grass and the cat pounced on it (THAT WAS FUNNY)... So... I have now completed my Parental right of passage and being the first to get my boo with a "Bomber"

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Potential - Review's please

This is a rough draft of the poem that Sam screams while beating the raquet ball after Hank dies. Writen she is screaming the poem into her recorder that is cliped to her bike shorts and the mic is clipped to her tank top. It is about 3 month's after Hank's death which will make her about 8 months preg or close to her due date. Brandon walks in as she is yelling and ranting (private raquet ball court) and he tries to calm her. She goes into labor as she makes the last part of the poem, which is more of a statement to Brandon (about not being able to escape.) This is her mini break down after the media hub-bub before she find's out his death was faked.
Let me know how it reads, thanks. PMCC mailed 4.11.05 jd ganoe

You said you’d never leave me
that this was forever
I was so deceived by you
Where did you go
Why did you go
You left me here
Silent and alone
The shutters of my heart
slamming shut
The blinds of my mind
hanging askew
The windows of my soul
leak the shallowness
of your departure
To me you were cavalier
My once upon a time
my fairy tale of faith
Now my living night mare
All alone I echo inside
I resound this ache
I resolve to the fact
I can see
I grieve upon this fate
Timeless reason
of no rational hope
I bear the weight of my soul
without you to guide the way
I am in horror
this life with out you
My heart bow’d (bow like a bow and arrow) that day
you know, the day you died
You didn’t have to be brave
You didn’t have to be the pillar of strength
I alone bore that burden
I alone held their hearts
I had to listen to that sound
as they broke
I wasn’t allowed to morn you
You media and your fans
raped me of that right
Inside I shattered
the day you died
And I am unable to escape
this view thru my eyes

Read this book

Occasionally I come aross something that sparks my intrest. Mmmk. yea. Well. Recently while looking for an old piece of writing for a friend, I came across a book report I had to write in college. Got to love the creative writing courses. Anyway. It was on the book "The Beans of Egypt Maine" by Carolyn Chute. Not my normal type of book. I'd picked it up at a used book store by mistake or it was more accuratly delibertly placed in my bag by the lowley clerk. Some know the uth .. miss high and mighty phase went thru after high school. well apparantly it was a wider spread observance then I was aware. Anyway. I remember reading this book. Appaled. I read it two three four times. then the teacher (carolyn bennett) instructed us to write a book report. I astonished her by writing mine on the beans. She mared up my orginal copy with distest. Correcting things that did not need to be corrected. In rebellion I dug the book out again and re-wrote the paper. The second shot I delibertly made it drip with distain at those lower then I and I naturally put my humor in it. One line in particular was the one where I described the main character and her horror at being raped by a "Bean.". I re-submitted the paper determined not to get that horrific red D-. Later that night I got a phone call from my professor. We got in an epic conversation about the book and it's relation to real life. She said if I wrote the paper in that context then she would give me a better grade but as it sat I was still holding a D-. One of the few times in my life I admitted defeat and re-wrote the paper thru anothers eyes. I did however keep the part about being raped by a bean because it read sooo fucking funny. I was awarded an A-. Conform or die. the buracracy in college drove me nuts. But Carolyn Bennett was a fantastic teacher. Please take the time to read that book. again it is called "The Beans of Egypt Maine" By Carolyn Chute.... and if I get time to retype the paper this weekend, (on the computer) I will do so and post it here.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

My doctor told me yesterday that it is absolutly time to give up caffine and nicotine. FUCK. I joked with her and said, well I gave up sex and heavy metal, isin't that punishment enuf? Her reply. (BLUSH). Well, you'd have been better off keeping the sex and giving up caffine or nicotine instead.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Autobio name suggestions

Actually Mine has a tittle: Just Jenn but it's not avail yet.
I pondered a few:
An unrecognized hero
The Plauge
Too Many Rabid people not enuf buckshot
Squander the Euphoria
We all go to heaven because life is Hell
I signed a DNR so why are you stopping my alergic reaction to Seldane (antihistime they took off the market) and grapefruit juice
Internal Spontanious Combustion
or as I call my blogger
~a view thru my eyes~

Pussy on a 4x4

HA HA made you look.
Yesterday the Hellcat went on an adventure. He followed my dog "whoring". My fault, I guess. The cat is accustomed to following the dog when we go on our evening walk. So, when dinner time roll's around, I realize Bambi is missing. *sigh* I walk to the end of the driveway (it had rained so I could clearly see the tiny paw prints on top of the larger paw prints of the dog.) and confirmed the cat had indeed followed the dog (the dog was home by the way). I take the 4x4 and go out and track the cat to the point it entered the woods. Or about 2 miles. Here I sit preplexed. Do I go in the woods this late in the day and hunt down a cat or wait till tomorrow until the tracks get cold. Trying to decide I shut of the 4 wheeler and have a cig. I then make a few call's to the cat. Low and behold the lil shit came. I started the quad and then got off it to get the cat. (I didn'tknow if the noise of the quad would startle the cat). I picked the cat up and put him inside my jacket JUST KNOWING that I was going to get scratched all to HELL. But the cat was cool. He snuggled down inside the jacket for about a mile then came out and was sitting half in the jacket half on the seat and just purring and meowing... I was unaware a cat can purr and meow at the same time.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

I SCREAM - Poem by JDGanoe Diomira look here

the night echoes
as the light falls
and my step falters
when yellow eyes glow
(I scream)
the nightmare courses in my blood
twisting and turning i struggle
and try to waken
my body covers in a lathering sweat
(i scream)
descends upon the red blotched vision
of my closed eyes
the dream conquers all known life
another reality unfolds
(i scream)
as my soul open up and seeks
eons of years pass in a Mila-second
i journey through time
I am the beginning of the world
and life
(i scream)
which explodes before my eyes
the first day lasted 10 thousand million years
and so we evolved - on the second day and so forth
we became confused creatures that needed to cling
(i scream)
a force so beyond our imagination (or created by it?)
we pinioned him white and human in form
The Book was written
to fill our empty hole
PRAY - prey
(i scream)
will we ever know what we look for to fill the VOID?
i repel the cold emptiness
and warm the heart
while comforting the soul
(i scream)
i try to cling to the dream
which haunted me before i slept
realizing I'd found something beyond "BIG"
there in my other reality
(i scream)
SLEEP is the time to GRASP
or to waken and COLLASPE
I Waken... I Sleep ...I Dream
I Waken .. I scream
The nightmare GLOWS
I later in SWEAT
We are the PREY - PRAYING for the VOID
The SOUL withers AND WAKES
Realities of the night forsaken
Sleep is the time to Grasp
or to Waken and Collapse

The Rake

I am sure I have reached my blog limit for the day but here is one more.
You know how in the Tom and Jerry cartoons they always show someone stepping on a tiller or potatoe rake and it comes up and bop's them in the face? Well you can do the same thing with a regular lawn/leaf rake. Casually walking across the yard about ten feet away from my daughter and she is walking towards me. I see the rake. I didn't think the tines were strong enough or long enough, but... WACK... she stepped on it and it flung up and popped her smack in the middle of her forehead. As quick as you can snap your finger. I stop and stare mouth agap in stunned silence as she falls on her butt. She blinks. A few times. Then burst out laughing and says, "Well, I guess I'm Tom now." I ask tom who and she explains to me tom from tom and jerry cartoons. I about died laughing.

Future Lives

Writen I think when I lived on the Hudson River in New Baltimore, it is on green paper and type-written (I used green paper when we lived down there) oh this is being typed as it is on the paper, no spell check

Jenn G- Promotional advitizor for all my friends and enemy's
Grace-Top notch writer, anything!!!
Jenn C- 1-900 sex tharipist and or doctor
Jenn K - Actress in/on the big screen
Jen Gilespie - professional whore
Kat - partner with gilespie
Mary P- Rich with Jimm's money at the divorce
T.Arm-Computer scientist
Jenn B- teacher or a house wife
karen G- sucker to mike N's deception
Mike N- Caught in an unhappy marriage to Karen, has affairs on the side. he is also a coorperaite spy for marriot, prentending to be a manager. notice i said pretending!!!!
HFSIV-re-enlisted, lost his lisence chasing after tim cummings. marriage to grace. Nuclear enginere, spy to russia and saudia arabia
Rapph M- world wide hero who brings peace wherever he goes. actually rapph will become a sexually deprived artist who will commit sucide at the peek of his career and he leaves all of his monies present and to come to his cheifce advisor and director (ME)
Gus- printer and on the side he will be a basement rappest
Wild Bill - garage bang junkie (think thats suppose to be band) and a lousy artist on the side, also still lousy in bed! :O I did BillB... LOL.. shhhhh
Mike H - Proffesional house-husband and sucker. On the side he will sell warm pepsi he stole from work
Dan p- Proffessional male slut and 1-900 operator in cahoots with gilespe and kat
Lok-Shirak (thor) Brain P- prof abstract painter and living in the rocky mts. in a cabin he built (rather poorly) by himself
Brian F - a career military man and male stripper on the side and a very good one at that (yes at one point he stripped for me!)
Mike T- also a career miliatary man who owns the club finch dances in
Darrin Bell- dead. car crash. need I say more

Me Today Posted by Hello

Plauge CC 2000 JDG

Part 1
the true test of life
is to ride your sanity to the end
and make it back
like being the soul survivor
of the plague
I am no longer vying for you touch
no longer am I
the tragic hero
caught up in your play
I have thought outside the brain
I am disconnected from you
I have thought outside the brain
and connected with myself
Part 2
I had to qualify my lack of love
you wanted to know
then you dismissed it
as disappointment
You we forced to see yourself
through my eyes of three years
and you didn’t like it
but you felt it
My energy comes from love
you resent that
so you stomped it out
to crush me
Punish me for loving you
like you torture anyone
who gets in
who makes you feel
and it worked
for awhile
and now I've recovered from your plague
and I'm back
my smile is not for you
my lips are my own
and you don’t like it
too bad

Pussy Tails

And you were thinking WHAT?
Terror at 2 feet. April 6,2005 (regarding an incident on April 2)
I got a bug up my ass over the weekend. I have recently cleaned the carpets but I noticed that the bottoms of my feet were getting black after being up for 20 minutes. So I dig out the shampooers and shampoo and all that shit. I clear all the furniture out of the main living room. Wait let me back up a second.
All animals/pets are outside beings. Mostly due to the flea population in southern Georgia. Now all animals/pets are treated regularly for said infestations etc. However, they are still not allowed in the house.
Having said that:
I cleaned the main part of the carpet with the big shampooer. I am now crouched on my knees with the little green machine and doing the edge work. I happen to glance up and for a brief second I think I see the hellcat. (mind you this little episode from when I glance up to the funky chicken dance happens in less then a minute.) I blink. No cat. Damn, must be the fumes from the cleaner going to my head. I am suddenly aware that something just landed on my back. I let out this war cry and spring to my feet doing this funky chicken dance and attempting to rid myself of the assailant. (knowing beyond knowledge that a rattlesnake has got in the house and I am about to die.) Well I end up capturing the rabid beast on my back and it is the prior said hellcat acting all cute and fluffy in my arms.
Rewind to January:
I make a point to groom the horses every evening when they eat. This one day was going down below 30’ so I get the added bonus of blanketing the horses. All goes well until I start to work on the old black mare
Old black mare used to be ours and was sold. She came back into our hands 4 years ago. She had been abused by a prior women owner and now has temporary and occasional relapses.
Having said that:
Everything goes well until I put her blanket on. She takes a pop shot at me and I correct her then hook the straps on the chest. I come back to the left side and reach for the belly band and her big ass mouth is digging into my big fat ass. Well, I smack her. Not hard mind you but hard enuf to make her let go. Then I yell and scream at her. And she takes another pop shot at me so I slap her leg and make a wild grab for the belly band. About the time I start to hook the band she is dancing and glaring at me. I see the rush of movement and the hellcat appears on her rump.
My Assumption:
Hellcat either climbed her right rear leg (horse is 17HH there are 4 inches to a HH) to gain access to her back or possible climbed her tail.
My Problem with this:
Missy (the horse) weighs 1800 lbs. Hellcat weighs about 9lbs. Missy is constantly intimated by the cat. Like if I don’t stand out there and monitor them while they are eating the cat will curl up in the horses food dish and make her eat around him. I think he was a terrorist in a prior life.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Ahhh a change

Saddled up the old mare today and went for a short ride. God. I forgot how big she was. 2 step ladder was not high enuf, had to put her at the back of the truck to get my foot up high enough to get on her back. DAMN. Rode about 2 miles. Sore as hell right now. So this is how my theighs used to feel after sex ... laughing....

Flying thru the air, armpit hair and chip nair

I don't have a fucking thing to say today. I cleaned the pool. It is 80' outside. My daughter told me I needed to get married and give her a baby brother. I've taken two XANAX today. The beds are still unmade. Laundry is done, errands are run. Horses are fed. I am ready for bed.!

Quote of the day is from a poster a askew "I am a cyber stalker with ADD, now where was I?" I can't find the stinking poster tho to give them credit.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Tired soooo damn tired

Today has been the day. I stayed up late playing on askew. why? I don't fuckin know. I just did. Start to fall into a slumber about midnight and RINNNNNNNNNNG... I curse a few times and answer the phone. A buddie of mine that does skip tracing and he needed to vent. Holding onto my conscious... I listened. Until 2 am. Well ok, I'm going to bed now damnit, I even took a tylenol pm to assure that. Uth huh. Yep. Sure. I had this bizzare (and I was aware I was having it but I just didnt bother to stop myself from having it kind of dream) dream of Ben Affleck trying out of a sceene in my book Sam. The one where the ice maker goes bizerk. Well I laid there over and over and watched him fall on his ass on the ice. Look at the clock. 4am. Grumble some more. Get up, go potty, drink some water. Don't drink a bottle of water at 4am on an empty stomache. Got in bed got all comphy and I had to pee again. LOVELY. Take care of that. Get in bed. Dogs bark. I let them out to go pee, standing there in my nighty in the coool night air... dogs come in ... I go pee again. (not a very happy camper at this point.) Snuggle back in my bed... ahhh it is sooo comphie... start to drift... unAffleckated... and my uncle comes in at 6am and asks me to drive him to his truck. Why oh why oh why MEEEEEE.
Ok I can handle this. Right. wrong. I have an appt for HR block and with Direct TV (hence the pic's of the direct tv tech's hard at work) So, Aunt does the tax shit, I do the stuff with my kid, direct tv shows up they do thier shit and then I take my fat ass outside and saddle up one of the horses so the direct tv guys can just ride up and down the driveway. It was cool. I ran the drive way a couple times. Add insult to injury. I am not only tired, and my muscles are not only sore and stiff, but I think my fat is stiff to. Is that possible? LMFAO... Hope someone had a better day then me!

directtv installer 4 of  Posted by Hello

directtvinstaller 3 of 4 Posted by Hello

directtv installer 2 of 4 Posted by Hello

Direct-tv installer 1 of 4 Posted by Hello

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Water downed version of letter to self

The assignment I posted in my community was ignored by pinta (:P) but here is my wateredowned version of it. The assignment was to write a letter to yourself to be sent back in time. Please state the age of yourself when you'd receive it.
Dear lil jenn (grrr the nerve of me) Stick to your guns about joining the marines, that way you will never have to worry about falling in love and getting hurt by anything but your country. If you don't like that advice then try like hell to get into SCAD with the references from mrs H, becasue if you don't your going to spend the second half of your youth picking up the pieces to your mothers life. yea the same jack off you had to raise. Your there for her darkest hours but she f**ken bails on you in yours. You really don't like horses, they are a pain in the ass and you kick yourself in the said place every day. Oh yea, if all else fails, You are the soul survivor of the Plauge. xoxo Jennilicious.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Autism - grrrr

Errr. The only "disorder" I can see that they are singling out is the fact she is semi-anti-social. Or to elaborate more... She will talk and socialize with her "chosen" either children (a few other children like 2) or like a select few adults (me, my aunt, my uncle and the 67 yr old neighbor that is friends with my uncle) . With other adults (grrr esp the dr's) she absolutly will not talk. She jibber jabbers like an infant when they talk to her. OR. and this one I absolutly will not condone... if a stranger approaches her in a store... she allows them to approach her but if they open their mouth to say something she will scream ( no one told her to do this ever but I won't tell her not to) GET AWAY FROM ME DON"T TOUCH ME< LEAVE ME ALONE! Over and over until they leave. She is extremly smart. at 6 she is doing basic math (addition and subtraction) can count to an infinity (well the thousands even but it feels like an infinity when you as the mom (and the dad seeing her dad is a two bit jack off and I get the DAD role to) have to sit there and listen to her. She reads at a 2nd to 3rd grade reading level, she can write (but poor sentence structure etc but really great spelling!) and she makes up her own stories (molly's world) which I write down in a journal for a keepsake. So other then the frustration that the school won't teach her (a kindergartner because of the sept rule) at her level or at an advanced level until 3rd grade (f-n georgia and johnson county) and she will not talk to certian individuals or take orders from certain individuals... they claim her to be autistic and will not teach her at the public school. Did I mention the fact that she installed the printer scanner fax the other day and sent the first fax? I read her the directions and poof... need ya vcr programed? (JOKING) So, in answer to your question the social disorder portion of autism is the main thing they are pulling at. I've noticed she can be "anal rentitive" about certin things being done in a certin order or placed in certian places HOWEVER she does not throw a fit if it can not be done just so, but she will inform you (batting her damn eyes the whole time...hmmm who ya think she gets that from) that it just isint how she wants it done. How bad do you think it is? I don't think she is autistic at all. (But I say that and they tell me to go see a shrink becasue I am obviously in denial! GRR)

I was referenced to read...
On a final note, I strongly urge you to read "The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Nighttime", by Mark Heddon... It's about a boy with Asperger's (an autism-related 'disorder'), written in the first person... It's a great read, and could help you to understand what goes on in your child's mind...
from the aview askew board

Friday, April 01, 2005

Free (kinda) Write 1997

I was just thinking that today would be a good day to walk to the park. Just to walk down a sidewalk and visit unknown territory, not necessarily a per Se park, but a a walk along the avenue. Down the boulevard. To the lane that leads to the highway to cross a bridge and find a new venue. Just a walk in the park is like a walk in the woods on a fall day.
What fell on a fall day? Leaves would fall, naturally. But you could also trip over a tree trunk and fall. Or sit on a tire swing and lean back to far and your hair will fall to the ground. acorns fall. all nuts fall. But then ripe fruit falls ad your fingers fall upon a keyboard or a piano’s keys. hear rises but cold falls. Why does cold fall?
Coffee Falls upon my lips. Then slides down my throat. Ode to the cup of coffee. It is good. better Hot. Much better with french vanilla fat free creamer (fvffc). Is enjoyed as expresso, capichinno, frapichinno, on ice, mixed with ice, but not left out a day old cold. I enjoy mine with equal and fvffc. or half and half.
Half in the day and the other half at night. Could go a long way.

Counter Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.