Wednesday, March 19, 2014

parenting is hard

Song of the day, "Wish You were here" Avril Lavigne
mood: brain warp confusion

topics at hand: genius and how to deal with it, belligerent disregard for authority, and how to show math work

My brain works differently than most people.  I know this. I have known this. I have a difficult time dealing with society because of it. I don't understand how people can "NOT" figure stuff out and why are they always so stupid.

After todays IEP meeting, I think the problem is because schools dumb people down. Serious. They hold back the smart people or make so many loopholes that you just can't surface until it is too late. I firmly believe this is where we are encompassing a problem with authority issues. We learn from example and if an authority figures holds you back... you are not going to forget that.  Being withheld from something dangerous is a different matter. But the schools are acting like a brain is a dangerous weapon and should not be utilized to the fullest extent. I think the opposite. Idle mind lends to destruction. Self destruction, social destruction, physical destruction, and reckless lifestyles.  And who gives a fuck how you get the right answer as long as you got it? Why so much emphasis on showing work?

Let us stop dumbing people down. What is wrong with bringing them up and asking for their full potential?  Taking a minute to reflect on Ken Shamrock and . It bothers me that every conversation I've had about him there is one person or several that say "He WAS..." and nobody ever states that "he IS...". Shamrock IS a very smart man.  Go to his site and pay to join it and learn from him.  He IS able to teach and guide you to doing moves correctly and telling you what muscles will enforce that move.  Bring him up for who he is and  not for who he was. Wrap your brain around thinking and relearning stuff.  People and rules both change.  Learn how to learn outside the box and don't let the common denominator provide the outcome for your thinking.  If Ken had allowed himself to only think within the box... he'd never have learned a shin breaking leg bar or how to roll out of a cover etc.

Or how about John Cena?  Everyone on twitter is hating on Cena. Why? Because he sacrificed himself and his privacy and made himself a brand and ooooh... made millions off of it?  I think he is brilliant.  I think part of the hating that goes on is because you (all of you that judge celebrities) are jealous that you (yourself) won't make that sacrifice.  And it is not just his privacy and personal identity that he sacrifices.  I'd imagine that every glass of wine he drinks he thinks, "I've got to do X amount of cardio to burn these calories" or something of that nature. He can't enjoy the simple things you and I take advantage of.  When you get into pro-athletics... everything around you is calculated. You have timed sleep. You are almost autistic in your routines.  I know that much. Or when I was an athlete that is how I was.  Everything was as I made it.  And I felt it when I slipped and had a cookie or took that 20 minute nap. I don't now... oh no... cookies???? run at me.... more more more. But the topic is how you learn.  Why not accept Cena for who he is becoming now? A smart businessman that is maybe not going to be the Champ you are used to seeing?  Re-learn how you perceive him and you will find that you don't hate the man.  You might  actually find you admire him for what he has done and is doing.  My youngest child really don't like Cena.  We did some research on him.  Lucy started to read that he does a bunch of Make a Wish things.  I then had to explain what MAKE A WISH is and that we have done some too. She was very excited. She said, "I think I like John Cena for who he is." And as a parent my eyes got all leaky and stuff. Good kid.

Don't stop learning just because you got out of school. Yes... most of us survived high school and college. the skin of my teeth.  But I have never stopped learning. There are many days where I feel like I'm all an adult and stuff and then I realize I've fucked something up or worse... find out I was wrong about something. Hey, but when I'm wrong, I own up to it. Absolutely every damn time.  I've found I really like the flavor of crow.

So, moving on to authority.  As an adult, educator, police officer, parent or even a "safe adult" friend ... remember your actions dictate things to other people. I see it every day. Today. Today I watch authority being abused and used.  One person in the meeting was saying the test indicate that Lucy is depressed. And that she scored highest because she is not interested in things that "other" kids are.  The vice principal said he didn't agree with the test because Lucy was interested in things that other kids (gender specific) are.  He said, Talk to her about baseball or wrestling and you will see her eyes light up. He went on to say he is constantly looking up new wrestlers and historical ones so when he see's her in the hall he can ask her something and test her knowledge. He said she calls him silly and will joke with him. This is true. Lucy found out that Mr M knew about WWE and he went from her top hated person to a very well liked and trusted adult.  That also ties in with re-learning how we view a person.  The first person was very agitated at her pointed out depression was a factor and I re-directed it to social repression more than depression. What a shit storm that brewed but in my favor.

Social repression is taught in school folks.  You classify and pigeon hole people into classes of people... they are the preppy ones... they are the metal heads... blah blah blah. Once you classify people you then repress specific groups of people because they don't fit your guideline.  This is a marketing tool to divide who will be management, or grunts, or marketing, or creative, or athletic or financial workers in the workforce.  Which ever it may be.  You as an individual will judge and alienate 5-60 people on a daily basis and not even be aware of it. Don't believe me? Take you a small notebook to the mall on a busy day. Find you a chair or sit in the food court. Observe people and judge them or tweet them. Bet you have: fatty fatty two by four, thigh gap, nerd, thug, N word, jerk, mr GQ, etc. Guarantee it. You will be able to label just about everyone that passes you. Even the mall cop you will call rent a cop. Serious.  Shame on you. And me. I am not exempt. Mine were very ugly things. Suck that bottom lip in you retard. Lick em stick em lips... oh hell no... it is lipstick not paste... did you even look in the fucking mirror? I should have tweeted instead of note padded it. I would have been a very unfollowed person that day (on twitter... had I actually done it)... but later... I re-read what I wrote. I felt pretty sick inside. Is that me? Why do I think such awful things? So.. I did it again and this time I only allowed myself to say positive things. Guess what? That is fucking hard. Sticky over-lipsticked girls are my biggest pet peeve. I said... well she picked a nice shade of lipstick... it matches her handbag... Very hard to be positive about everyone. Cutie and hotie don't count. Pick one thing on that person you'd say is a geek and say something nice. Ouch. I know.. I know... The pen protector prevents chest injury when he gets a swirly.... wait what? See... it is very hard to not socially repress someone because they are not the same as you.  You are halfway to being a brand yourself, did you know that? Because you are getting lost in a sea of confusion. SWIM.

Showing your math.  It is an interesting concept. It really reinforces accountability and not a representation of how you solved the problem.  I did a math test in 9th grade. As I solved the problems I just doodled? I'd draw things and lines and hash marks and dots... and then I'd write the number. sometimes I never used a number sometimes I'd use words only I'd jumble them first.  I can remember Dr Yadagari pulling me aside after a test and giving me an F on a paper where not one wrong answer was given. He said I cheated and did not show my work. I grabbed my scrap paper and give it to him. He said that was rubbish and was not showing my work. I was a very hard teenager. Nothing got to me. I'd get out of that class and be consumed with rage. I'd take it out on softball. Regardless, I was sitting in his detention one afternoon. I was doing my math homework (he was the detention teacher not a detention for him) and he sat next to me and watched me. I did my doodle things and was unaware he was there. When I finished he asked if he could see the homework and the scrap paper. He kept these a few days and asked me to stay 9th (detention but not trouble type) period. I did and we fussed and discussed the paper and I ended up in tears. I told him I did not know how to show my math the way he wanted me too. I'd tried and I do it that way and I get the problem wrong. I passed with a C and he said it was the hardest decision he ever made but technically earned an A in the class however by refusing to do the work I was unaccountable.

Almost 25 years later it still bothers me.

I do show my math now. But I show it how I do it. Like for working out. I keep a sheet on each workout. reps/sets/weight blah blah blah.  What I do looks strange but it works for me. I was actually asked about it and the person was looking it over. He said, ya know it makes sense I just don't know how to log it.

But do we really need to know how to log it? If we make ourselves accountable to ourself... are we not further ahead of the game?  Hint hint... it also keeps your ass out of jail. If you obey your own set of laws and set a parameter of right and wrong, hey guess what?  You are going to find it easer to obey social laws (not killing people, driving right, not causing harm... etc), and social bylaws (how we interact with each other) and all that crap.  Accountability is not writing everything down. I have not kept a checkbook in 25 years. I do my balance in my head. I go over it mentally with each financial transaction, I go over it in my head when I shower, and I have only bounced once check (and that was NOT my fault it was a $430 gasoline purchase instead of a $30 one and the gas station paid the banks overdraft fee) in 25 years.  I don't understand how people keep a check book. I know how to. I have done it. I balance my husbands. I just don't know how people can not know how much they are worth.  You are worth what you do.

Your actions make you worth more than that bank account does. We are not rich. There are many days I wish we were. Days I wish I could go out and get a real job. Days where I'd rather cry while I drive my Bentley than my car. Yes indeedy. We all judge by the greenbacks. Even ourselves. But guess what? Money don't make you happy either.

The day we donated our hair... I was happy.  The day I bought a kid his meal at a ball game... I was happy.  The day I donated tickets that we couldn't use to make a wish... I was happy.  Judge yourself by the good you do. And yes. Brag on it. Your friends... your true friends... will probably tell you what makes them happy.  Daisies make me happy to look at. Not roses. Do you think I ever get a Daisy?

and yes... I still pick the petals off them... I am like that... so get me a few of them :-)


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