panic attacks

you know, i never really knew what opus's anxiety closet was really about until i started to have these things called panic' attacks. Now. Hmmm. I have had a few that have floored me and i knew beyond knowledge that i was having a heart attack just to find out that my head is fucking with me. like there are not enuf ppl in the universe to fuck with jenn, i got to get on the shirmp boat too. they treat them most commonly with a drug called xanax. woah nellie. anyway i've had a lot of minor ones and to date 3 bigs one. last nights big one lasted almost 2 hrs. i called the ask a nurse hotline and asked them about panic attacks. REALLY REASSURED here. the woman said it is virtually impossible to tell the difference between a panic attack and an anxiety attack or panic attack. BUT... it is normal for a really bad panic attack to last upwards and exceeding two hours. YIKES. but normally a heart attack is done and over with either or not severe ramifications. that you could use the stair climbing technique... if you can climb a flight of stairs after the attack is over then it was a panic attack. if it were a heart attack you'd be sweaty winded and have a rapid heart beaat halfway thru. well fuck.

quite obviously it was panic. it took almsot 2 hrs to completly stop. scared me. reminded me it happened last night with the little echo it gives. AND why do i get blessed with these fucking things? i being the bold one. I being the strong one. I being the one that will stand up to society and tell them what side of my ass they can kiss if they think i'll convert to their ways? That's what I want to know. Why am I having panic attacks>?