Thursday, March 31, 2005

My Hero Today

My Hero Today
By: Jenn Ganoe

Thank you momma
Her smile was sweet
I dropped a kiss upon her
And went about the day
She peeked in on me
From time to time
Or I would just stop
Drop quietly upon my knees
To creep in and be the
Unsuspecting beast
In a moment like that
In her eruption of laughter
Her eyes sparkled at me
In her little voice
Choked with hiccups
She said
Thank you momma
Thank you everyday
Thank you momma
You’re my hero today
I didn’t know what to do
I was astounded
I was mesmerized
And no one warned me
There would be moments like this
When only could you
And scarcely at that
Afraid to break the trance
I never knew
I wanted to be a hero
For anyone
Until she told me I was
And what was it
That made her say that
And what had I done
To deserve something so special
As the look of her love
Uninhibited adoration
My heart lingers in my chest
I am a hero

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Purge - CC to Jenn Ganoe 3.19.05-Story Idea

Idea Date of Copyright: 03.19.05

·Ryla Lady of the Ravine
·Megan - Ryla’s changeling
·Ben of Brentwood - Will be saint Ryla’s love on 18th b-day (Megan and gargoyles are the result of that)
·Breeding of dragon/shape shifter (Ryla) to a human (Ben) Changed history as gargoyles became protectors of the "unseen" instead of a neutral protector
·Blues - Vampires - pure bloodlines
·Red’s - Dragons (city limits) - pure bloodlines
·Yellow’s - unseen’s - humans of pure bloodlines
·Brown’s - werewolves - of pure bloodlines
·Green’s - Dragons (outer limits)of pure bloodlines
·The Earth has a natural way of purging itself
·every 5000 years, the world stops turning on its axis or "holds still" on the 13th hr of the 13th full moon or what is commonly known as a blue moon
·the tide is also held in high tide
·ancient tradition for bloodlines to be kept clean "breed amongst your social class" for a reason to keep the blood lines pure
·what happens when the earth purges
·-vampires and werewolves run rampant and devour those of unclean blood
·-blondes are "unseen" because they are of pure blood for their social status
·Hitler was a former saint - a portion of his family was assassinated in the last purging hence he decided to fall from status and his whole genocide thing
·Murphy - hence murphy’s law. He was the saint where if it could go wrong it did. Many things went wrong with his sainthood such as vampires being able to penetrate his "safe house" to name one case.
·Mother Theresa check spelling - her good will in times of purging and not, she is the mother of all the sick and needy
·Mayor Juliano - need someone the reader can relate to, his bizarre antics such as cross dressing and his hero like efforts after 911 gain a countries respect
·-re-write the written word, (creativity not meaning blasphemy by any means) when people were hammered to the cross it was an offering to vampires
·-some withheld the bite of a vampire and thus the trickle down affect of magic - turning water to wine etc and common day magic
·Some residual memory of the purging is left like the saints or the dark ages / the time of king Aurthor and why there are so many varying stories of the dark ages
·most people die instantly of a vampire or werewolf bite
·when the chaotic feasting is finished the dragons swarm the cities and country sides and burn everything with their fire breath
·the only things not touched by their breath are some types of animals/mammals, the "unseen", copper topped buildings, and saints and their dwellings, other dragons, pure vampires and pure werewolves
·--some species alter in the aftermath (dinosaurs died off, horses and humans mutated or "evolved", unicorns, Pegasus, a lot of mythological or prehistoric creatures or extinct, mammoth etc
·saints are self appointed in their youth by the dragons
·they are given 2 pseudo’s to hold and a locked book. If when the dragon returns both are still in their locked boxes, then the dragon appoints the person a saint
·the saints job is to receive all the unseen’s into their dwelling as necessary (and it will be necessary due to the fact the dragons will burn everything down)ie communally known as monks, monasteries, nun’s, orphanages etc
·there is no good or evil
·Dragons make the saints dwellings bigger thru the use of magic if needed
·Dragons sleep on the roof of the dwellings until it is time for them to purge
·Play on common day things to disrupt the reader such as is it coincidence that the flight attendants look like the region your flying into
·Minor things that go over looked
·Touch on the role of Immortals. It is not that they can’t die, they can. But they have to want to die. Also. Not like the highlander stuff, if an immortal is slain and it is not their choice to die; they don’t just "live" they die as the person they were and are reborn (hence their agelessness) It is optional that they retain their memory. Most choose to and return to their live/or life style and if there is any "money" they are sure to leave a living will to an heir (which will be themselves)
·Dragon’s don’t fall in love but Ryla fall’s for Ben
·Bacd Hill Keeper of time is present in this story
·Story Line
·Ryla gives Ben the Pseudo’s on his 18th b-day and the two end up being a couple for a short time. Ryla realizes she is pregnant (not sure if the reader will know this or not) and disappears.
·Start with Ryla and a small child on an airplane flying into Southern California. Ryla feels the "pulling" to change form and is uncomfortable. Perhaps show parts of her changing and her sweating or somehow fighting for control of her shape.
·Ryla and Megan appear at Ben’s current residence. He is shocked to see her but allows her entrance. She tells him it is of great importance, does he still have the gift she gave him on his 18th birthday.
·He does. He invites Ryla and Megan to spend some time with him and has some rooms set up for them. Ben is unaware he is an immortal/green dragon.
·Re-unite their friendship. She drops the secret she holds on the future and what is expected of him and he is able to withstand it ... however he hugs her and holds her and pledges his love and allegiance to her and all the mortal stuff like he has never loved sense she left him blah blah blah
·Together Megan and Ryla train Ben to be a saint. They read to him from the book.
·Time is pressing. This has to be accomplished in a matter of days (but Ryla is able to "hold time" ie when she is training Bed to be a swordsmen
·Ryla shows Ben how to walk time and or hide in the shadows and lets her secret out, that she has walked time sense she left him and was never very far from him
·Goals to draw to ... the purging... or the apocalypse as some call it or the different phases of the great battle
·Can Ryla and Ben’s love survive pending death
·Revelation that Megan is Ben’s daughter and what that means (ie true blood he is a dragon) comes out and how Ben Deals with it
·Bacd Hill’s periodic intervening
·At some point (before Megan is born) Ryla explains her hideout on a dairy farm in Hershey PA - despite common allocations, Hershey is the world leader in Werewolf population
·L.A. is the population leader in Vampires
·Lead the characters up to the battle and through the different phases of the battle
·End... Ben walking time/ a new beginning and raising Megan.
·Ryla gets injured during the great battle and she is recovering in the sanctuary of Ben’s home with him tending to her
·Draw in on marriage vows and how they become ... thru the trials of Ben and Ryla

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Mr Freckles being nosey Posted by Hello

Me on a cute day Posted by Hello

Friday, March 25, 2005

My shower confessions

A thing amongst things. ARRRRGH. Lets see I was going to post the shower thoughts. Although mine are clean, unlike some peeps! CD of my day is Ani Defranco "living in clip"
Wanna know what I think about in the shower? I write most of my story ideas in there. It is like the hot water opens the portal to my remaining working brain cells. I will then toy with the idea's periodically thruought the day and then eventually get it down on "paper" and paper being a software program in my computer. There are times I forget my thought but a dash to the shower later in the day always revives it. Hmmm. Come to think of it. I've always done a lot of major thinking in the bathroom. Thats odd. And it is the most dangerous spot in the house. Well hell my thoughts must be dangerous then!
I can remember one point when I lived on deans bridge road that my sanctuary was the bathroom. I'd turn the shower on like i was in it and I'd sit on the floor and write. Hmmmm.
For the record I've never had shower sex (althought I have wrote a few shower sex scenes in my stories) and I've never got off in the shower. Now damn I live a boring life!
I have however enjoyed long and nonessenctial bubblebaths by candlelight and read in the tub. Maybe on the pot to.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Fax Number before Fax Machine

I called the phone company on Monday and asked about a fax line. They then informed me that the service I have includes my very own fax number and they procede to give me my fax number. *note the fax machine did not actually come until today Thursday.. 4 days after I got my fax number. So is this normal to get a fax number before the actual fax machine? Well really long before that, I changed my sevice bundle about six months ago. URRRGH!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Babies! Posted by Hello

Wanna Play on the Swing? Posted by Hello

Lawn Mowers Busy at work Posted by Hello

Bambi ontop of the world Posted by Hello

Slightly Annoyed with FedEx

I get slightly annoyed with FedEx I wish there was a way to demand delivery by alternative couriers like UPS! But you can't because some company's contract with one or the other or however it works. Let me tell you about FedEx. The drivers don't want to come to rual America and they find every and any way to get about it. Today's reason? Inclimate weather. Well damn, let me give you a view of outside, almost 80', Sun is shinning, slight breeze, bluer then blue sky's with a few big fluffy clouds rolling past. If this is inclimate weather, I would hate if for these drivers to have to drive in upstate NY. I can recall all to often in NY at the different dealerships I worked at, that FedEx came usually prior to UPS or even the mail or the parts trucks. *sigh* But mostly clear sunny days are inclimate conditions in Georgia! Who'd have known.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Horses eat cake

Today was storms and more storms and just pure yuck. The horses went out on their own adventure, got as far as the top of the hill and MR FRECKLES alerted us as to the girls missing. Or rather.. he ran around the fields whinnining for them until we got fed up with it and went to see why he was fussing.
A short while goes by (after a group effort to get the mares home) and I am cleaning out the fridge etc. Some stuff goes to the cats, some goes to the dogs and then there is like this coconut frostening cake that... well it was gross no one ate it. I start with tempting the cats. They go for it but eat about 1/4 of it. The horses are at the fence just whinnining... so... I take the remainder of the cake to the fence and offer it to them by the handful.
THEY ATE IT. GROSSS. No.. wait they didnt just eat it they stood there very politly fighting over who gets the next mouth full. If I wasnt the one feeding it to them with that nassy frostening all over my hands I would have been taking picutes.
So horses like cake. Who'd have known?

Monday, March 21, 2005


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it is Monday. All day long. Don't let anyone tell you any differently. Had to run a few errands today. First take my aunt to the bank and then to the post office... She is the only person I know that can take 19 minutes to mail a letter. People comming in and leaving, the cars next to me changed literly 3 times. Yes I was cussing by the time she came out.
Then onto the dentist for my youngin. The only thing that went right! So we make a few dozen stops while in the city and I tell you I was ready to come home. WE get here.
I have the nosey-est damn horses in Georgia. The horses were in the back field... Oh about 25 acres away, and one of them either heard the truck or saw the flash of white and the beasts came racing up to watch us bring the stuff in the house. I just stood there and watched them race at me, none, slowing until they got to the barbed wire barrier and one of the horses actually ran into it. GRRRRRR.
~~scent of the day ~~ Beautiful by eeste lauder .... yea i was selfish and bought 170 bucks worth of Beautiful, powder, lotion, body wash and perfume. Oh well. i wonder why I'm broke sometimes!
Oh heard back from a publishing company. If I want to put up $4,000 bucks they will publish Sam part 1.. HA HA HA... yea hold on a sec I'll just shit it for you....

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Sound and Fury - Reactivated

Thanks NYPinTA. I almost forgot one of the essentials of life. Music. Today’s CD is Shrek2. A little bit retro. With a tad bit of Rollins band "Hero time." Music was once what I stood for. I had my own article in the school newspaper titled "Sound and Fury" where I would go heads up on my research about Tipper Gore and her Censorship policy’s.
I cannot ask anyone to understand the vacancy of music. Living in Georgia is the eternal pit of the preverbal Hell. You can listen to music. IF you conform to their ways. I’m telling you straight up, I would rather relish in silence then to listen to the day to day barrage of either T.V. background noise or Gossipal or Country.
And to correct the ever famous Country song, you don’t go country you are forced to go country. Lack of options. I’d rather listen to Country then Gossipal. I’d rather listen to Country then "static" (as I so call television background noise). So you don’t go country. That song is just bullshit to disillusion the normal world that there is an alternative out there. It is a "forced alternative"
The other thing I wanted to say is my quote of the day will actually be two quotes.
First, Ben Franklin "The problem with doing nothing is that you don’t know when to stop." And I can testify to that. I have done nothing sense I left NY. I have had no life. And you don’t know when to stop. You don’t know when to stop because you are brainwashed into believing this is the norm. And you actually become accustomed to the sound of silence. You know, I can type faster listening to music? My thoughts are more clear more precise more coherent. Today I am not doing nothing. I am writing. I did 12 pages yesterday on Sam and 15 today working on my plot twist in books two and three. God I need to get published. I’ve written my own trilogy.
Second, UNKNOWN (appeared in the school newspaper once I cut it out and kept it in a scrape book) "Give me all your dreams you dreams, give them all to me, so I make lock them away..." I look at this quote and I stand and shout. No. Dream Keeper. They are my Dreams. Thou Shalt no longer lock them away because I have found the key and I’ve let them out. I now "stand alone" (wink I forget who did that song!) and I am "one" (metallica) and Dream Keeper, you may try to come, you may try to approach and rip my future from me again, but YOU will fail. I hold my Aura in my hands and it is Yellow today. I am shining brighter then any dream you’ve ever stolen. "You will never truly capture me" (Jenn Ganoe - memory of the time I was a mermaid, I think or did it come from untouchable)

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Is anyone watching Posted by Hello

Frame 2 Posted by Hello

Frame 3 Posted by Hello

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Who gets their own box? Posted by Hello

I Scream w/ PSP  Posted by Hello

I SCREAM - Poem by JDGanoe

the night echoes
as the light falls
and my step falters
when yellow eyes glow
(I scream)
the nightmare courses in my blood
twisting and turning i struggle
and try to waken
my body covers in a lathering sweat
(i scream)
descends upon the red blotched vision
of my closed eyes
the dream conquers all known life
another reality unfolds
(i scream)
as my soul open up and seeks
eons of years pass in a Mila-second
i journey through time
I am the beginning of the world
and life
(i scream)
which explodes before my eyes
the first day lasted 10 thousand million years
and so we evolved - on the second day and so forth
we became confused creatures that needed to cling
(i scream)
a force so beyond our imagination (or created by it?)
we pinioned him white and human in form
The Book was written
to fill our empty hole
PRAY - prey
(i scream)
will we ever know what we look for to fill the VOID?
i repel the cold emptiness
and warm the heart
while comforting the soul
(i scream)
i try to cling to the dream
which haunted me before i slept
realizing I'd found something beyond "BIG"
there in my other reality
(i scream)
SLEEP is the time to GRASP
or to waken and COLLASPE
I Waken... I Sleep ...I Dream
I Waken .. I scream
The nightmare GLOWS
I later in SWEAT
We are the PREY - PRAYING for the VOID
The SOUL withers AND WAKES
Realities of the night forsaken
Sleep is the time to Grasp
or to Waken and Collapse

Friday, March 11, 2005

Just Jenn Posted by Hello

Just Jenn

Just another Jenn
Chapter 1
For many of us, having been born in the early 70’s, the name is a virtual nightmare. And much more of a nightmare for those of us actually honored with the name. Many grand attempts have been governed at having some identity other then, ‘Oh hey it is one of the Jenn’s’. Jennifer, Jenn, Jen, Jenny, Jena, the risky Jen-Jen, and of course the spelling variations such as Gennifer or Jennster and of course Jennilicous.
Then when all else failed, there were the diction corrections. Jenn with a long N. Jen quick and curt like. At some point in High School we Jenn’s became a congregation of Jenn’s. Meaning, five of us appeared in one fatal English class and the teacher had the ingenious idea that we should be Jenn and the first initial of our last names. Great idea but three of us were Jenn G.’s. So, the end result was addressing us Jenn’s by our last names.
With the exception of one non-Jenn who decided that I needed a variation of the variations and thus called me Newser. A combo of my last name, the animal that sports my last name and the then famous use of exaggeration of names ie: Jennster. I however did not like that name. My mother was a reporter and I felt like the non-Jenn was implying that I was a gossip hound.
And I had to go one further then the abnormal Malay of Jenn’s. A clothing line became popular in the 80’s, any guess of the name? Laughing here. Well your half right. Jennifer Dale was the clothing line. MY first and middle name. Geeze. Now I have to share with some designer to.
Hence. Jenn’s not only have to swim in a sea of people whom are people that are more and more looking like one another every day, but we also have to fight harder for our own identity seeing of course, it appears, or so it seams, (wink) that every other one of the people that are swimming are a Jenn or a variation of a Jenn.
Jenn’s have to fight harder to be noticed. Look at JLo. She dropped the Jenn all together. And Hollywood is a great example here. Look at the flood of actors sporting the name Jennifer. Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Garner... to name a few. It is like welcome to Jenn hell its even in Hollywood.
Oop a new movie coming out, what Jenn will appear in it. (dripping with disdain and sarcasm.)
So, my hat is off to whichever trend sparked the Jennifer naming in the 70’s. If you were an icon and are unknown to me and my generation, you live on through us many Jenn’s.

Sam - Chapter on Waxing

Insulted and indignant over Hank’s remark on an excessively hairy part of my female anatomy; I stand in the drugstore glaring at hair removal products. I swiftly pick up a product read the label and put it back. Least anyone should see me. I can feel a faint flush of embarrassment every time I pick a product up. What a mess. I do however want my man to be pleased with me and continue with the self inflected torture. I am an adult. I can do this. Or so I am coaxing myself to believe. I decide on a wax product, take two packages to the clerk and pay my dues. I meekly leave the store. The clerk had picked up the item and read the label then looked at me a long hard minute before ringing it up. I mentally plan to use a different drug store for a few weeks.
Inside, however, I am triumphant. I managed to purchase a product without seeking the consult of my best friend Lucy. This is a decision I will later regret. Triumphant. I have a brief mental image of myself dancing down the street to the Queen hit, "We are the Champions". Which I quickly snap out of and realize I am in fact still standing in front of the drugstore which I will not use for awhile. I make a beeline for my pickup truck and drive safely to my next destination. Home. My one safe place in the world which will soon become my one hell. Home.
I enter the left door of the two family home I live in. Do the normal stuff. Keys go here, coat there, shoes over yonder and then put the wax kits in the bathroom. O.K., so I am anal retentive about how I like to have things done. A slight bit of order in my otherwise chaotic life. I stand briefly and glare at the hair removal product, then leave the room.
I occupy myself with my Christmas baking. I occupy myself with some cleaning. I occupy myself with anything to avoid the bathroom.
Mustering up the courage I open the box and read the hair removal instructions. Sounds easy and painless. I decide to try the wax on what Hank had refenced to as my treasure trail. I follow the instructions and rip the hair off of my lower abdominal area. I break out in a slight sweat but over all it was not as painful as I had imagined.
Taking the lazy route, I decide to heat up the wax sheet with my blow dryer instead of kneading it with my hands. Mistake one. Or was mistake one actually purchasing the product. Or was mistake one being disillusioned by the first hair removal attempt not being painful. Uncomfortable yes, but not quite painful.
So I’ve heated the strip up and it is now pliable in my hands. I place one foot on the toilet and massage the wax into the top and left side of my, err... pelt, and wait the said three minutes for it to set. I grit my teeth and yank. I am quite sure my yowl of surprise and pain can be heard in the next county and I have a mental image of people trying to enter my home. I stand like a deer on the first day of hunting season. I wait. My senses are acutely aware of every minor noise in my dwelling.
I sense no immediate danger of being caught. And why exactly am I scared of getting caught. After all everyone is doing it. Getting into personal grooming that is. It is no longer taboo. IS IT? I mean you can buy the stuff in public stores. Anyone, no one is coming to my rescue. Somehow, that should normally be a bad feeling, but right now I am greatly relieved.
"We are the Champions" is once again playing in my head. And I look down at my score. I blink. I look again in astonishment. The strip that should be holding wax and hair is now just a strip. Foot still on the toilet I look down south on my body and discover what will soon be my demise of a self respecting person. My tush is covered in melted wax and matted hair. ‘Oh No. Oh shit. What the fuck were you thinking Sam.’ I mentally berate myself. I have made my own chastity belt.
I grab the box. On the side of the box in bold red letters it say : DO NOT HEAT COLD WAX WITH ANYTHING OTHER THEN YOUR OWN BODY HEAT. Alright, so maybe the blow dryer was a horrible idea. In more red lettering it reads : QUESTIONS, COMMENTS, PROBLEMS CALL and a phone number.
I have another mental image. This one is of my panicked call. Them taking personal information, asking specific questions as to where and how long the wax has been there and then the image goes further to reveal they would of course record the conversation and put it on the six o’clock news.
With quite certainty that the box and instructions are not going to help me any, I throw the box in the sink. I make a quick decision to do what I did not want to do in the first place. To call my best friend Lucy. I snap my leg off the toilet and fight that brief indecision to call her or not. After all she is always bragging about being bare down there and she was a beauty school drop out. I feel the back of the hair on my neck prickle followed by this... this tale tell itch of warmth and seeping across my vagina. I look down in horror to find the stuff spreading.
I run, not walk, to the phone and hit the speed dial for Lucy’s cell phone. She answers in her cheery voice.
"Thank God you picked up."
"What what’s up, got a spot you can’t remove?" Yep my dearest Lucy. Always the first to pick on my excessive cleanliness.
"NO. This is a real emergency. Where are you, can you come over here like right this minute?"
"What is wrong."
"All right. But is it emergency like we are going to the hospital or is it emergency like I can come as I am."
"Come as you are, but HURRY." I hang up the phone. I now am aware of an even bigger problem. I was standing still with my legs shut. The wax has now hardened. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." I howl. Oh no. Oh my God no. Oh shit. I tentatively feel myself thru the said hard wax. The wax has managed to spread almost completely to my butt and I am sealed shut. Great now what.
Mental note. When in doubt of your situation do not envolk Murphy’s law.
So as Murphy’s law goes, anything that can go wrong will go wrong. The phone rings. I look at the caller ID in absolute terror. It is Hank. Should I answer it. I think not. But what if it is him calling to say he is coming to my house for lunch. I answer.
"Hey baby." Trying to force a false sense of calm in my voice.
"Oh I adore it when you call me baby." He snickers into the line. "Look the show got canceled tonight so I am going to finish up at the studio and come by your place. I was thinking maybe we can hook up with Brandon and Lucy."
"No what."
"No to everything. Tonight is not good."
"Since when am I not good enough? Damn Sam, we practically live together."
"I did not say you were not good enough Hank. I just said this was not a good time for this."
"You don’t want to see me. I can’t believe this."
"I made plans with Lucy, seeing you had that show tonight, and she is going to be here any minute."
"And now Lucy is more important then me, what the F." He is angry. Or is it jealous? "I get to spend so little time here, and when I do, I’m sorry but yes Sam, I expect you to spend every moment possible with me and I don’t think that is too damn much to ask." And he hangs up.
I know the routine. I am suppose to call him back and calm his hurt feelings and make everything ok. But I really am at a loss of what to say other then the truth and I am not about to admit defeat to him.
I hear Lucy pulling in the driveway. I duck walk/run to the bathroom and wrap a towel around my waist and repeat the now painful duck walk/run to the door. I snatch Lucy by the hand she has raised to knock on the door and jerk her in and slam the door. She looks at me in mild surprise. "What the hell is wrong."
I feel tears well up in my eyes. "Help me." I manage to say through my sobs.
Her big green eyes seek mine and she looks genuinely concerned. She rubs my shoulder. "It is going to be ok honey, but you have to tell me what is wrong in order to fix it."
Yep that is Lucy. She can fix anything. I hysterically sob my dilemma to her. I watch as her face goes from concern to surprise to flat out humor. "It is not funny Lucy. Now Hank is all mad at me..." and I explain the conversation I just had with him.
"All right. All right. It is funny though, and in a year or two you might get off your high horse and see the actual humor in it. Take off the towel and lets see how bad it is." She kneels before me and removes my towel. Her patient and steady hands feel the length and width of the wax. I flush all over with humiliation. "Oh Sammy, no don’t be embarrassed. I’m flattered that you trust me enough to let me try to help."
Together we explore the possibilities. She even tries nail polish remover. Nothing works. The wax just gets harder. We both jump when we hear another vehicle in the driveway. Lucy runs to the front window and looks out.
"Oh, Oh, Oh, Sam your not going to like this, but Hank is here."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I scream and lock myself in the bathroom. "GET RID OF HIMMMMMMMM." I howl. I press my ear up against the bathroom door and listen closely.
"Oh hello Hank."
"Hi Lucy." I hear a slight shuffle. "Look you can move and let me in or I will pick you up and bodily move you."
"You can’t come in right now, Hank. Please leave."
"Why does she have another man in there?" He yells. Furious.
"No. Not at all. It is just not a good time."
"Get out of the way Lucy. I want to see my girlfriend. She has nothing to hide from me."
"Oh well, now and again a woman needs a little privacy."
"She should have thought about that last night, now move." I hear more shuffling and a slight screech from Lucy.
"No look Hank, you don’t understand."
"And how the HELL am I suppose to understand a damn thing if no one tells me anything." I hear him run upstairs. Then downstairs. Then thru the downstairs. The door handle is jiggling.
"Go away Hank." I yell.
"Let me in Sam. If your going to break up with me you are going to do it to my face."
"I am not going to break up with you." I say in a normal voice.
"Then let me in." His voice has calmed down slightly.
"Hank, please, just trust me on this one." I start to cry. He kicks the door in. I am sitting in the corner next to the bathtub with my arms wrapped around my knees and sobbing. "Damn you Hank." He looks wildly around the bathroom and into the tub. He then kneels down on the floor in front of me.
"Sam, baby, what on earth is wrong." He pulls me into his arms. "Are you Pregnant?"
I snap my head up and glare at him. Murphy’s law echoing in my brain. "No, worse." I sob.
"Pregnant is not bad, Sam. What is wrong."
"She has managed to seal herself shut because you said she was too hairy down there." Lucy belts and sits on the toilet looking at us. I drop my head into my lap and start to do this strange hiccup, laugh sob thing.
"Excuse me?" Hank asks and Lucy hands him the cold wax box. He starts to laugh. "Interesting. Not what I had in mind when I said you were to furry down there. I was thinking more on the lines of maybe you letting me shave you with a flavored shaving gel." He sighs and laughs. "Ok. Well lets play show and tell. You show me what you’ve done and tell me how you did it."
I tell him what I did and what we tried. He sighs and gets the phone and returns about to dial the number on the box. "We thought about that but then thought they might sell her out to the local news or make it a triple X movie about so weird sex fetish." Lucy blurts. He looks from Lucy to myself a few times and then starts to laugh. Hysterical man laughter. The type that no matter how horrible the actual situation appears to be, you can’t help but join in.
We calm down and he calls. He explains to them that the wax has adhered to the skin on the inner thigh while doing the bikini line and has separated from the paper. He went over what we tried and wanted to know the next option. He chuckled and hung up the phone.
"Sam dearest love."
"I am not sure I like that tone."
"They said to take you to the hospital. That they would have to surgically remove the wax."
More Silence.
Followed by the three of us laughing. "Well fuck me." I kind of sob laugh.
"I’d love to dear, but your sealed shut." To which of course we all burst out in more laughter.

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A note from your Blogger

Taking a moment to introduce myself, I am 33 and a single mom. Today is not a great writing day. I sit here writing in my head but never am I getting the time to put pen to paper or finger to keyboard. *SIGH*
Rampet Ideas ~ Alien invasion. Yea I know. How often and in how many different forms can aliens invade mother earth. ~~snicker snicker~~ They walk amongst us. Honest. Aliens are really air borne particals.
~~work on sam~~ feeling guilty havent really finished that book yet. LOL. Will I ever.
~~Autobiography~~ Hmm... this is a good one and a trick question. I have actually written my very own autobirgraphy. Can or is it politically correct to ask to have your autobiography published; when your famous in your own head?

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