Sunday, July 27, 2008

I have a sinking sensation

I think I am going to miss 8 maybe 9 questions tomo4rrow! Yikes. I can't seem to get chapter 11 right! GRRR>

Tony showed up today (FINALLY) to give LuLu his b-day presents to her. Hmm. Nothing like being a little more then a month late! He brought her a potty seat for the big girl potty, pull ups, panties, a doll, and a pig bank that takes plastic coins. She don't understand completly that the potty seat goes on the big potty. She took her little potty apart and configured it on to that. Yep thats HIS girl. Anyway I showed her how to use it and she loves the big girl potty! But wants to take the damn seat out of the bathroom! Five temper tantrums later... she still has not got that part down.

We are loosing the battle with the fleas. I don't know what else to do. I just thank God that he has the dogs now and they are not going through this!

Two more days until EUREKA and I hope it is a good one!

Labels: , ,

Saturday, July 26, 2008

so far

I have one more test to go and that is the statistics exam on monday afternoon. Sigh. I will be so happy when it is over. I plan to make the girls some dresses that week and see what I need to get for Manny to go back to school. ALREADY??? Golly Gee, it can't be!

Picked more blueberrys this morning as a deterent from studying for statistics!
G'ma gave Lulu a bath while I cooked breakfast for everyone.
Life is Boring here at the house today!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

SIX more days !!

Almost July 29th! Six more days. WowoWie! Sci-Fi channel really needs to start playing re-runs or something! And it would have been such a nice break this semester to get to take a few minutes and watch EUREKA and not do my homework!

And lets see, small miracles... only two more days left of class (and one test day next week) and lets see how many exams: Bio - 1 exam thurs and Final on thurs, intro to computers 1 exam thurs, statistics 1 exam thurs and final on monday, american government was two essays already turned in. Oh and the Net exam is friday. How many was that? Six? And I had two today for Bio. and they wonder why college students get stressed out!

Mr Lizard has been spotted. He now lives in the downstairs bathroom between the wall and the cabnet under the sink. *little f-er* but at least he is not in danger of getting in bed with me and scaring the bageezers out of me!

Normally I think of better blogs. This has been a very hard semester for me. Life in general has been difficult to say the least.

The update on my cousin's kids that I was not going to give... My cousin and his wife were granted temporary custody until Aug 11 court date. The kids momma was living with a level 3 sex offender who had raped a 12 year old boy. And she wonders why everyone is pissed. She knew about it. But what pisses me off is the police response. When my cousins wife called the cops they told her, "Because the mother lives there also, it is considered supervised custody and we can't do anything about it." How about that! A child molester rapist can live with kids. There is something bad wrong with the system.

maybe I just need to take some cymbalta and ingore the life that surrounds me. nothing in it satifys me anyway! I mean c'mon, I got to be tested on what I havnt' learned this semester, I can't stand the fact that these kids are in infinate peril, I hate this lizard... I am kidding around here, please note the humor!

Labels: , , , , ,

Sunday, July 20, 2008

As a parent, I reserve the following rights...

I reserve the right to shower daily
I reserve the right to go potty in peace and quiet
I reserve the right to eat all of my dinner once in awhile
I reserve the right to tell you to do something and not be asked why
I reserve July 29th, 2008 at 9:00p.m. as MINE and you both will be in bed by 8:00p.m.
And now back to the normally scheduled post! Hope there are no typo's becasue I am typing in white on white so ... well because I am not using the MS interface I am tryoing at the blogger post page and ... it don't retort back to the standard font color after you switch to red..
OK dummy switch colors! EUREKA starts on July 29th YEA. I really hope for a powerful season three. I would like to see them get back on track like season one and take all this mushy kissy garbage out of it. Yeas, I know that the characters need relationships for the story line to grow, but upon doing that last season, they turned it more into a drama and moved away from the fantastic format of season one. We will see.

Lost the lizard today. He scuttled into my closet. Little bastard. I have also found that I need not mourn my doggies anymore as my horse Freckles has apparantly decided he was a dog. Let me explain. As, I've said before we have been moving stuff around so that all the bedrooms are downstairs and so that we can seal off the upstairs and conserve on electricity. SO, today was my room. In part to find the damn lizard and in part to get some storage boxes out from under my bed and into the shed. OK. your still with me? Well all the trips from my bedroom door to the shed were accompained by Freckles. He walked with his chin on my left shoulder (and hot grass stinky breathe down my neck) with me each trip. He was very careful not to heel me with his clod hopper feet. Good for him. Saved me a bullet. JOKING. My uncle came out and helped with with a few of the boxes. He stood in the shed door and scratched his forhead, "I ain't never..." and he attempted to shoo Freckles away. Freckles just dog stepped him and waited for me to go back to my room. Anyway, I don't know what his psychological reasoning was for the walk, but it was companion ship. I gave him a few pets and he slobbered on me! Who needs a dog when they got horsey slobber? Actually I would take dog slobber any day of the week!
I am doing better about my doggies. I have not taken a Xanax all weekend and only cried once yesterday and none today. I feel a little sad right now but not like I've been. I've even managed some homework and a NAP!
Oh and I finally got my art from Seatle framed today and hung up. I was given them three years ago by Tony (LULU's daddy) and just never got aroudn to it. They are frammed and up now. And they look good. I hope he paid a fortune for them!

Labels: , , , , ,

Saturday, July 19, 2008

the square cloud

In my last post I forgot to mention the sudden flea infestiation. Sigh. And this stupid lizard is huge and FAST
Ok here is the funny shapped cloud I told you about in the last post. I drew a red box around it to pin point it for ya's
Ok while I wait for photobucket to load so I can pick up the link, I went to the alltel store on Friday and they updated my phone number to a local number. How about that I've been on a waiting list for a local cell number. Hard to believe that there are that many numbers used up in this area. Our entire county has a pouplation of around 5 thousand! Get off of it and give us more numbers to be avail. As it was a Wrightsville number (although there are W'ville numbers owned by Alltel) was not available so I had to get a Sandersville number. Still a local call from the house and better then a long distance one from the house. Anyway... the guy that waited on me looked like "Chad" from the Alltel comercial. I had to laugh. I go to school with the guy and he is a full term student. So, over the summer he has gone from the hippie hair do, to this bleach blonde Chad thing. I looked at him and held my breathe a second to prevent an inopertune laugh from errupting and then he just grinned and says, "It's OK, It was not a JOB requirment!" and his boss (who was waiting on me) snickered.
but our banks are not closing!

Labels: , , , , ,

Friday, July 18, 2008

You are testing me, I know it

The on going ordeal with my cousins grand kids, is that not enough? Is it God? Then a rash decision to have my Jeter dog and Peanut dog euthanized, was that not heartbreaking enough for you? Was it God? So, please tell me why… are you mocking me now? The snake earlier this week… you remember, the one the crawled out of the AC vent on the passengers side OF MY CAR while I was driving and caused me to almost wreck? I know it was rather small but with a snake phobia… Did you enjoy watching me look for it to no avail? So… am I being punished? Made a joke of in the clouds? Was it necessary, really necessary to let the lizard in my room? You know the evil blue one that now has no tail. And YES I do like the color blue; just not on lizards. Especially not on lizards without any tail that may still be in my BEDROOM. Did you NOT get your kicks off of my heart pounding effort on the Statistics exam? The one that had me pacing in my seat. Nervously clicking random numbers into this crazy calculator and hoping I used the correct function. Only to be subjected to a battery of four hours of exams later yesterday afternoon for this alternative financial aid. Please God, pick on someone else for awhile. I am tired. I am sad. I need you to take back some of this bizarre burden your putting on my shoulders! Thanks.

Ok, having said that; does anyone know the answer to this.

Possible answers: Rock, Accurate, and Rough

Question (as it appeared on the 4 hour exam): What is the opposite of the opposite of inexactly?

I picked rough. J any guesses?

Oh and I saw a square cloud today. I took a picture with my cell phone but I can't get it to email.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

GOD cried yesterday.

Well yesterday. I had Jeter put to sleep yesterday. I have a really great Eulogy to write but I am still distraught. He was my best friend and my pet. Peanut is gone to.
The day started out wrong. I should have known. I did know. I’ve known for awhile. I’ve had plans to have Jeter Euthanized for about a year now. I just have never been able to bring myself to do it. I loved him that much. He was a large dog and developed hip dysplasia and that condition got worse as he got older. He has been falling two or three times or more before he even could get out the door to go to the bathroom. Once up and steady on his feet he’d do well. Last week had been particularly bad for him. He fell, he flopped, he looked to make sure you didn’t see him. If you held him steady, he would sigh and then go on. I gave him a bath and when he tried to sit in the water I felt his bones crunching against each other in his hips. I anguished a few times about this decision I knew I had to make and I told my aunt that at the end of this semester I would do it.
Here is an older picture of Jeter.
I am sorry I am a selfish person. I wanted him alive because I love him. I was not and still am not ready for him to be gone. On top of everything else, you can understand why I’ve not been sleeping and why I’ve taken to taking my Xanax, oh there really isn’t an excuse for me.
Thursday evening Peanut came in and he had a puncture wound on his neck. Looked kind of like a snake bite but with rabies being at epidemic highs right now, we decided not to take a chance. Peanut was 11. By Friday morning his back was all broke out in a rash. My aunt left a message for the vet. When I got home from dropping Lulu off at the daycare, she told me she was going to have Peanut put to sleep. I was shocked. I was not ready. Peanut had other problems. He has had a cough for over a year, he can’t see, he is stiff when he gets up, and he pee all over if you didn’t get up and put him out a few times during the night.
Here is an older picture of Peanut.
For that matter so would Jeter.
I could not wait for the vet to call. I loaded the dogs, Molly, and my aunt into the car. We drove over there. The vet cried. He told my daughter he had really bad allergies and ran to the back room. We all did. The vet took care of Peanut first. Jeter went berserk. He clawed up my shoulder and howled and whined when the vet put the purple stuff in Peanut. It was like he knew. He saw Peanuts soul. The vet told my aunt to take as much time as she needed and started to put the stuff away and then looked at me sitting on the floor holding Jeter. He said, “No, not Jeter. I have stuff to help him. I won’t even charge you.” I told him not to put his stuff away.
I sat there with Jeter for a few minutes and wept and told him I loved him and the vet gave him a shot of general anesthesia. He laid on my lap. The vet had to put the purple stuff in six times. Jeter’s veins kept collapsing. The vet had to go into the Jugular vein. I made the comment of all things to botch. But I can’t blame Chip. He was as stressed and distraught about this as us. He looked at me like I asked him to shoot his child. The look on his face , when he checked Jeter’s vitals, said more then a hundred words. He still has a heartbeat. And he had to give him a second lethal dose. Jeter was not ready to die.
I let the vet dispose of the bodies.
I brought Sue and Molly home and made coffee and took a Xanax. I went and got the baby. On the way there I yelled at GOD. The sun was shinning and it started to pour rain. I asked the Lord if I did right. I begged him to love my doggie. I told him I regretted my decision the moment the vet put him under the general andesitic. It rained until I put my hand out the window. I asked, “Will it heal my heart if I touch your tears?” And then I was able to stop crying. When I stopped crying, it stopped raining, or did GOD stop crying?
GOD called my cell phone on the way home. Then phone did not ring. 5:13 pm. It beeped. I looked at the phone; it said one missed call and a number. I hit the send button and called it back. The voice was none I’ve ever heard before. It said, The number you have reached has just been disconnected. Was I getting a message that he had received both of my presents?
And maybe I’ve just lost my mind. Perhaps the stress has gotten to me, I don’t know. After I got home with Lulu, I was sitting in the backyard to have a cigarette. I looked up at the sky, a beautiful blue sky day with billowing white clouds. And then I saw them. A big grayish cloud that looked like a silhouette of Jeter and a smaller silhouette that could have been Peanut and the smaller one was jumping up to lick him. I blinked. No. I did not just see that. Did I? Are they letting me know they got to heaven? And I cried. I want to believe. Honest I do. I want to believe I did the right thing. But more, I want my doggies to know I acted out of love and I did not want them to suffer because I am selfish. Or am I selfish because I did not want them to suffer?
Good bye Jeter and Peanut. I love you both. You were good boys.

Labels: , , , , ,

GOD cried today

Well yesterday. I had Jeter put to sleep yesterday. I have a really great Eulogy to write but I am still distraught. He was my best friend and my pet. Peanut is gone to.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Cesspool of my mind…

O.K. Yea, what ever! I was thinking about toys today. You know, Kids toys (not adult ones, just wanted to clarify that ) and I realized something. WOAH, there is something to realize about toys? Yea, actually there is. Toys today have extracted the imagination factor out of playing. Yepper do.

The major big time toy I had growing up were the Bryer horses. I would pick wisely because it was few and far between that I got a new toy. I would spend hours imagining what the horse would do and how it would run and all that nonsense. I am not saying that there were not interactive toys back then, because there were, they had a pull chain in the back or a wind up ring or something of the sort. Then HOT WHEELS got big and the whole concept of toys that did something rolled off the assembly line. Poor old Saint Nick was put out of business with his wooden trains and rag dolls.

OK, now look at toys today. You turn them on and they play with themselves. Literally. What fun is that? We have toy boxes full of these interactive toys that my older daughter had to have and won't play with because they are "Creepy, boring, don't do what the box says… and so on."

Both of my kids have more fun with paper and pencils, crayons, markers or whatever source of ink and medium then they do with actual toys.

Except Lulu. She loves her baby dolls. Molly, she loves that stupid rag doll that has been repaired a million times. And we all love the bag of balls (the kind for them jumping things like at Chuck E Cheeses) that we randomly throw at each other. And that is about it. The rest are money poorly spent and sitting in a box waiting for spiders to inhabit.

I say, bring back the fun.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Welcome to MY 234th post… or something like that

i Buenas Tardes ! And Hello! Am I excited? Uth – no. LOL, but everyone else (and this is not a bad thing, just not something I've ever really thought about) is getting on this bandwagon on blogaverseries and grand number of posts and … well… I am at 234 post's and I don't know how long I've been doing this because I am tooooooo lazy to go back to post one and look. PHEW. That took a lot out of me, guess I will go to bed tomorrow! I mean NOW. OH HECK!

I am tired. Both mentally and physically and I realized today that next week is the last week of classes for this semester. Well, then we have a week of tests. :O

Where'd the time go?

Bio – um.. lets not go there, American gvt – um lets not go there either, Computer class- doing well, Statistics – failing but failing with grace style and learning as I fail! Honest. I am learning off of my bombed exams. Like this last test, I got a 37. How about them apples. But..But… least I shall defend that grade… I know why. I have sat here for three hours, I spent about 3 hours at the school going over it, and the review of the exam in class. Give me the test now, HAHAHA, I bet I get at least an 80. But it don't work like that. But, we do get one more test and the final. Sadly I don't care about the other classes. I mean, I do, I want to pass and I want to do well, but I want to get statistics. Does that make sense? If Algebra made me think mathematicians were insane, why the heck do I like this class. I mean, it is just complicated Algebra!

Oh well. I'll prolly fail it but I will fail it kicking and screaming!

Anything else going on? I have some 4th of July photo's, well video's from the camera, to post, I just havn't had time to download them from the camera. Camera has faithfully gone with me to school everyday with the SD memory card and reader, and has faithfully come home everyday. J No time. OH,,,, I could be doing that instead of posting you say. MMMHMM. But the camera is WHHHHAy over there and I am in bed with the laptop and baby and statistics book and notebook and calculator…bed kinda crowded… guess I have to kick the baby out (JUST KIDDING)… and I don't feel like getting up and getting the said … blah..blah..blah.

Nothing new to post on my cousins' grandkids. I don't think I will post anymore about them unless I get custody of them. I am just sick about the whole 9 yards of that ordeal.

OH and we got blueberries. I got a photo of them too. I ate three handfuls on my way to school this morning and then two more just for measure.

Manny has completed almost everything on her summer to-do list. The only things left are Wild Adventures (.net) and the Atlanta Zoo.

We went grocery shopping last night and it took almost 4 hours between the farmers market and the grocery store. I left school and all I wanted to do was come home and take a painpill and go to bed. But then, I'm fat and we didn't have any groceries in the house… so, the belly won. WE GOT    home at 9:30 pm ish, and by the time I got the groceries in, kids bathed, groceries put away, me bathed, kids to bed, me to bed, it was almost midnight. That is when I took three pain pills and called it a night.

Lulu went to bed about eleven. She did not want to get up this morning. I tried twice and my uncle tried three times and then it was time for tickle torture. She was bent out of shape!!! She got even madder when I tired to get her dressed. SO, she went to school in a dry diaper and her pj's. The daycare director just looked at me and then her and said, "Running late?" So, I told her an even more RD version of waking lulu up and it was funny, Lulu just got all pissy again! Kids are fun.

That is about it.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Update on my Cousin’s grandkids

Have you ever felt like you were standing at Hell's gate looking in? That is how I am feeling now. Let me explain. I got a phone call last night at 9:38 p.m. from the social worker down here that is assigned to the case. She wanted to know if I know where the little bitch is that has custody of her kids. I'm sorry; I am tired of being nice.

Albany County, NY department of Probation and Johnson County, Ga. Department of Probation are looking for her. I asked the social worker, "Because her probation got transferred to Georgia, and at the time of that transfer to Georgia the kids were in her cuntfaced mothers custody, what is the legal state of the children's residency? And based on this, did the state of NY have the authority to grant her custody of the kids if neither of them were technically residents of NY?" And she had no answer.

And this prompted me to stop being nice. I feel bad. I had the woman in tears and most likely regretting that she'd called me. BUT if she had done her damn job the first time that I called her, then the kids would not be victims here. Am I wrong?

The kids are looking at going back into the system or back with their grandmother if the probation departments catch up with Missy and arrest her for violation of probation.

I am madder then hell! Haven't these kids been violated enough? Is there an answer of how to save them?

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Did you know how much a penis is worth $$$

OK, I am reading the headlines following a major pot bust that involved Fedex. A few headlines down it reads, "What's a penis worth? Court rules $795,000"

ç== me :O ==è

But it is a malpractice suit, where the surgeon accidently severed the said organ. Here is the link.

GOT to love the head line though! Made me look, and while I was waiting for the page to load I was thinking, "Gee, $795,000 that is a lot of money, maybe that is why I am still single!"

Saturday, July 05, 2008

I am so SMART for a mom

Just a quickie to say "HI". Lets see, I spent yesterday on my hands and knees scrubbing the clean kitchen floor. Don't ask. I had a stupid moment! No, really I did. I wanted to do the corners and edges (where the swipper wet jet just don't get to well) and I didn't want to really work to hard… Um… See where this is going? I sprayed the edges and corners with a bleach based spray and took a quick shower. I mean a quickie, one where you wash your pits and butt because you've already taken a shower your just sweaty and well… things got to be in order (even if they are out of order)… anyway… maybe five minutes or seven minutes tops in the shower. I go to wipe out the dirt from the edges and notice… a white halo around the kitchen. Well damn. So, to make the floor match I had to spray this chemical on the entire floor and scrub it with a scrub brush on my knees. IT SUCKED. BUT… here is where I have humor and my children just don't…

Amanda- "Mommy, whatcha doing?"

Me,-" Oh, I'm playing Cinderella, wanna help me?"

Amanda… gets down on her knees and looks around, puts her hand in the bucket, smells it, looks at me like I beat her with a wet noodle, "Um, Mommy?"

Me= "Yea?"

Amanda- "This is not the part of Cinderella I wanna play!"

Gee thanks

Me, "Awww that's OK hunny, I know, I was just teasing.":


But it was a good one, right?

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

I did not give up

I wanted to, Honest, I did. I feel like I made a big sacrifice in my education for my cousin's grandkids. Was the sacrifice worth it? This is yet to be seen. I briefly thought about dropping my classes, especially my statistics class, but I thought about it hard yesterday and evaluated all my classes and where I stand in them and how much I think I can pull out of my rumpis to get "the grade". And I thought about something an English professor here at East Georgia had said to me a few semesters ago. Mr T, "It might seem impossible now to balance it all, but your smart and I would recommend you don't give up." And I decided to stick it out. And this semester I have decided once again, I am going to stick it out.

I did not plan to go back to college at age 35 (last year). Life just didn't work out as it was planned and I decided that if I furthered my education then I could get a higher paying career (here in the South) and be able to support myself and kids without a man. Well, really, that is what it comes down to. Having to be independent and the strive for thus. And yes, we are living at or below the poverty line so that I can get my education. What a vicious cycle!

My next post will be where I tagged myself to do the fifteen years in ten bullets! You can see an example of that at the link on the side to "Where the HELL are my penguins?", and yes that is where I tagged myself! J

Counter Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.