Thursday, March 31, 2011


I had an entire script planned out but when she started to cry I let her off of the hook!

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Sunday, March 27, 2011

wedding frustrations

Song of the day: March of the Penguins (no really, was that a song?)

Quote of the day: Drama.... I can't take it.

I want to get married on April 1 because that is our anniversary. I have been voted out by everyone with the thought it would be a mockery of marriage. No really. They don't get me. Why is it a mockery? Because I am a wise ass. I can't help it. I have always done April Fools pranks and I am not going to stop at 39. But that don't mean I am thinking of Marriage in derogatory terms. April 1 fits my personality. And NO ONE would forget that date.

He thinks 11.11.11 would work because he would never forget the date. Hmmm. 4.1.11 sounds better. More information that way. Bwahahaha.

Any date Ideas?

Moving on to the next marriage conundrum. Location. First my want. I want to get married at Bush stadium in St Louis at a Cardinals game. If I were rich I could even get an entire baseball theme going there. IT WOULD BE AWESOME. Mini body shutter.

He thinks we should get married here in our little church with our great congregation and have Brother Fred marry us. And I have no problem with that. Other than my infantile urge to be me. And me is baseball. And me is funny.

If we get married in upstate NY then my old and tried and true friends can all be apart of it. I don't know why, I never got invited to a single one of their weddings... but... I waited. This is not wedding 2 or 5 or 8 for me. I waited until it was right. Until my heart said I could not live without this man in my existence. And what a great feeling that is. So, yes, I would like to share it with the one true set of people I loved and still love.

Problem is then Mom would be involved. And I love her, she is my mother. But I don't know if I love her enough to have her come to my wedding. I am still mad at the 8 year absence from my life. I am still angry with her telling me when I was preg with Amanda that I should have an adoption because she didn't want to be a grandmother at 44. I am still mad that she didn't talk to me until my grandmother died because I had the audacity to have a child. You know what? I was 27. It was my choice and I don't regret a thing about Amanda.

So, mom is a big problem. I am crying as I write. Every little girl secretly wants their mom's approval. And I do want my mom there I just don't want her to be so mean. She won't talk to me again now that she knows we are going to get married. She is probably afraid I am going to expect them to buy the dress. Well... I am the first child and this is MY first wedding. But no, I wouldn't ask her for a pot to piss in.

Other options? I am taking suggestions. Seeing I won't get my way no matter what I do. Someone will be mad.

Then there is the whole cost thing in general. I got the ring on Black Friday. I have been looking. We really don't have the money to get married. We are living paycheck to paycheck and he is the only one working. He makes about 60K a year to take care of this and this tiny house.

This house is hell. This house is punishment for something I did somewhere in my life that was so awful. And I don't know what. It is so small I can't keep it clean because there is no where to put anything. I am terrorized by the water moccasins that infest the creek and scared to death one of my kids are going to get dead by one. My neighbors an ass that lets his fucking dog run loose and knock me and my kids down. We cant sell it because the market now is for the house not the land and the people that are looking at the house want to buy the house for the value of the house and throw the 7 acres in for free. We owe big money on this shitbox. He tells me to look at homes. I grew up in a really big house. I looked and fell in love with a home we will never be able to afford (unless by an act of the Lords's Kindness).

So we are stuck. I am in hell. Mentally because of the cost of things, the size of this house, and the snakes. Not being able to find work really don't help. I do want to get married. I just don't think it will happen this year.


Because somewhere I failed

Song of the day: Penny Lane

Quote of the day: Momma's got a fat ass. Lucy Ganoe

And I thought I was doing right
By Jenn Ganoe

Ever have a day where the pillow looked at you and said, "No, you don't really want to go out there?" Well me either but I wish it did today.

Welcome to my world. My real readers know that I have two children that fall into the Autism Spectrum. And kids like this take many things literally. However, I am like Sarah Palin, and I love my retarded babies. I can say that. They are mine. If you say it I will duck tape your mouth shut and hang you from the Brooklyn Bridge by your toenails.

In second 31 before I poured my coffee the incident happened.

We try not to swear. We try to use alternative means of it. Sometimes categories... Oh 5 star word. Sometimes alternatives.... what a donkey. Spelling is no longer an option but partial or misspelling sometimes works. SH is shit. F-bomb rhymes with duck. Sometimes make believe words... oh googlie goop. And sometimes sign language... ie pointing to something like your ass . We switch it up so certain small children don't learn potty words.

Today. They could have at LEAST let me have my dayum coffee. Today Amanda (my 12 year old going on Paris Hilton and Taylor Swift) said... "I was just thinking that you are a wise thing behind your back."

Cut me some slack I was still doing the funky wake up thing.

I turned and looked. "Table?"

Amanda, "No it is attached to you."

Something behind my back that is attached to me.

NOT THINKING. "My ass? Are you implying that my Ass is so big that it sticks out so far behind my back that... are you saying I have a big ass?" Sleepy now Angry mommy totally forgot the first part of the discussion.

Lucy begins to chant, "momma's got a big old ass! She said she does!"

Amanda, "No. but you are a wise ass."

I took my coffee and hid in my room for 20 minutes. I came out to be greeted by Lucy still singing her song.



Ooh look who has a book coming out

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Products of the day

Today is Sweat Pea scent. In process is Glycerin Soap, powder perfume, and body powder.... pic's to arrive later!

Friday, March 25, 2011

Special Notes on Products Listed

The products have no added preservatives other than Vitamin E and in some there will be Iris Root powder. This means the shelf life is one month at room temperature and up to 6 months if kept in the refrigerator. This applies to all personal hygiene products.

Listy List of the Awesomeness to come: (44 products so this is only partial and what we are working on... erm... what I am working on...)

After Shave for Men..... oooooohhhh ahhhhhh! So, SOFT!

Rub on (tube the size-ish of a glue stick) Shaving Bump soother. You KNOW what area's THAT is for. But natural scent of the butters so, MEN can use it on their nasty shaving burns!

Mouthwash... I might just post that recipe. I like it. But not sure if I want to fool with packaging and selling.

Both Lye and Non-Lye soaps in many shapes, colors, sizes, and purposes.
Liquid soap (MAYBE) that can be used for liquid hand soap and dish washing (in the sink) soap.
Loofah Bar soap. I used to make these and couldn't keep them in stock. They are pretty and exfoliating at the same time!
Grime remover soap for men.
Pretty grime remover soap for us girly girls... will be the Lychee scent and pinkish purple. Hey... I don't wanna smell like no dang man! Great for the girls that garden or just get dirty! ALSO works great to get crayon off the wall!

Soaps have long been a pet project of mine. I just don't like store bought stuff. They look cute in the guest bathroom and they give your guests a reason to "lift" a keep sake from a party! Meh. No.... you never did that.... your way to cool. RIGHT.

Lotion wipes. Because I care. They are so nice for the quick refresh. ESP if you get sweaty palms and can smell the salt. MY personal pet peeve. I don't like smelling nervous and hate it more when someone touches me and smells like they are. I keep a few in a zip lock bag in my purse at all times. Yes they are a LOT like a baby wipe but they do not have the "alcohol" in them.

Black Salve. Yep. Stinky but works! Me and my awesomeness. Will be sold in 2 ounce jars. A LITTLE goes a LONG way. Most stores sell tubes that are like 1/2 an ounce and this stuff has a shelf life of 2 years because of the activated charcoal.

All sorts of Salves.

Emu Oil.

All sorts of essential oils (some are brewing now).

Maybe Pure Vanilla Extract. I need to look into the local and federal law on selling a food item.

Recipe book (the how to for your entertainment purpose. Mind you... the first few batches...eth..don't always work out. Persistence makes perfect).

and much much more! When I am ready to start selling, I will have a secure dotcom address and you will be able to pay through a secure bank server or paypal.

NOTE ON SHIPPING- to reduce shipping and handling cost... your products will come in recycled boxes. Sorry, I see NO NEED to add to our carbon footprints by buying fancy product specif boxes with my cute logo on it.

NOTE on pricing - yes. Products may seem high. BUT. They are concentrated. I can add 80% water to them and sell them .... I'd rather not. Use less.

NOTE on product containers - Products will be packaged in new containers and not the ones listed here. Lotions will be in plastic containers. In a pinch between orders of packaging I might purchase "Mason Jars" and use them. If your product comes in a MASON JAR and you wish to help reduce our carbon footprint, I will offer fifty cents off your next product if you return the Mason Jar for me to clean and sanitized and reuse for your product order. Yeah, because I will have to make a fresh batch for this... the shipping and receiving of your product will depend on when you get the jar to me! Keep the lid or recycle as they don't hold up more than a time or two. Or wash and sanitize your own jar and I can send product in some sort of a bladder bag. I need to see what is out there. Maybe freezer bags. I don't know for sure yet.

Little one wants to practice her cute little pink learning thing on the computer so I got to go. Pictured below.... her number 2... isn't learning awesome!


Above: Make Up remover... similar to cold cream
ALSO works great on FEET!

Olive Oil and Cocoa Butter Lotion: No it is not pretty.
Non-Toxic pink dye and green color of x-virgin olive oil make... mauve. Need to work on color.
VERY CONCENTRATED. If you want the store brand feel? Apply to damp areas or apply and spritz area damp and pat dry.
AND always remember.... a little goes a LONG way.

Lotion pics.... Lotion in Malibu tubes in this pic were watered down but still came out concentrated. Which is fine, I am not selling fancy water.

And because the LOTION BUTTER is my 3rd child
It gets another honorable mention!
I am so addicted to this one. I have used half a 4 ounce container in 2 weeks! I use it after every shower and sometimes sneak some more to rub into my hands just because it makes everything so silky to touch! This recipe I used Sunflower oil, natural cocoa butter, Shea butter, and avocado butter. The scent pictured is Lilac but the one I am using is Lychee Tangerine! I know it is the smell that is as addicting. I have purchased 2 Lychee Tree's and when they start bearing fruit.... mmmmm baby! Nothing sweeter in the world than a Lychee berry. And the smell.... they will so be indoor tree's!



Body Butter

No preservatives. Has a shelf life of one month left out or 6 months if kept in refrigerator.
This is great if your Hubby like to give massages! Melts on contact with body head and moisturizes skin. Also great for elbows, knees, and the bottom of the feet! At bedtime, apply to clean patted dry feet and hands and put on white socks and thin white cotton gloves. Wake up in the morning to Satin Hands and feet that last all day (under normal hand washing conditions. Don't hold up well to harsh soaps or hand sanitizers).



What is THAT? WOMAN have you lost your mind? Is nothing sacred in modern conveniences?

NOPE NOPE NOPE. Do yourself a favor and READ the ingredients in you dish washing powder. What you have here is a safer alternative. Do you really want to drink and eat after toxic residue? I don't! I don't want my kids to either. I also want to reduce my carbon footprint on our "recycled" water supply.

So, YUP, you got it

Dish Washing Powder for the dishwasher.
Add 1/2 cup of vinegar to the rinse cycle.



Uth no... I'd rather not sweat!
Really? You want breast cancer too? The stuff in Antiperspirants has been linked to 8% of breast cancer diagnosis. Higher in women that have Breast Cancer running in their families. The plan here is not to make a profit but to protect you. All proceeds will be donated to the Susan G. Koman Foundation .
**warnings and notes**
When you first switch from Antiperspirant to a natural Deodorant please keep in mind that your body will need to detox. You are after all applying this to an area where there is a lymph node. What has happened to me was not pretty! First: Ewww YUCK... you sweat. Nasty... OMG I just ran a marathon sweat. It is thick and stinky and just gross. Second: You break out. Yep. Looks like you have some weird contagious disease. (Tip... Buy my lotion butter... it helps ease this step. Apply generously!) Third: because it is sensitive and your body is detoxing it burns when it breaks out.

It took me 2 weeks to detox. Now... I hardly sweat at all and when I get warm the smell of the deodorant is
great and relaxing. Having a "Hot Day"... really simple. GO TO the bathroom... wet a paper towel or take a lotion wipe or baby wipe... pat don't rub... the area clean and dry (bacteria causes odor) and apply another pea size amount to the crease of your arm pit. Really that is the only place you actually sweat. No need to do the long pit strokes because the commercials tell you too! That is waste! SIX weeks into it I have only used about a third of a 4 ounce jar. And I do HOT things.

Please excuse the misspelling on product. I had Mandy helping me and well... she is 12 and can spell Tiger Blood and Winning.... LOL.... but the technical things are difficult at times.



EWWWWwwwwWEeeeWwww Jenny G that looks gross you want me to do what with it?

Wash your clothes with it. Yep. That is what I said. There are no chemicals in this so it looks awful. But it smells great and never have I had anything clean so good before. I could add binders and make it a pretty yellow gel... but why contaminate your skin anymore than need be?

There is also a powder variety that is perfect for lightly soiled loads.

and not to worry when I start selling the liquid I will purchase fancy containers like the ones crowding grocery store shelves. But for now... I have no shame in recycling containers! RECYCLE REUSE RE-PURPOSE it is good for the environment!



Bath Salts - Natural combination of sea salt and Epsom salt with citrus scent and non-toxic coloring. Not to worry, these won't get you high if you smoke them (re:Bath Salts getting pulled because of Psychedelic affect) but they will give you a spa like bath that leaves your skin naturally conditioned!

What is Lotion Butter and WHY do I need it? Lotion Butter is a concentrated lotion with corn starch. You need it because traditional powder is TOXIC and Talc has been proven to cause cancer. The lotion butter goes on slick like lotion and melts into your skin from your body temperature but it dries like a powder. Great for "crevices" like where your legs meet your torso and where "chubby rolls" rub. Oh yea... and it smells GREAT.

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Thursday, March 17, 2011

new new new

Pictures and prices to come.

Back to making Lotion and Creams and Soaps. A full list and pic's of homemade natural products will be available soon!

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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sometimes there are no words to explain Cats


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