Sunday, June 29, 2008

This is in honor of all you with NORMAL animals

*Disclaimer* First I want you to know that my animals are retarded. My horses think they are dogs or now, I've got one that thinks HE is a human WOMAN... My dogs don't really understand that they are dogs. Second I really must insist that if your a horse person you will understand, but if your not a horse person you won't. Misty is the large black horse you will see and if you think she is thin, she is. She is also 34 and alive with the grace of God and a really good vet that keeps telling me it is "Time" and I am not ready to rent a backhoe. So, please, she is under vet care, old and not being starved. This is what happens to old horses. She is (as of last week) up to 8 lbs of a senior feed with a pound of cracked corn mixed in. This is split up into two servings a day and within the last six months she has had her teeth "floated". Third, freckles was not hit with the clothes basket, it was waved at him in effort to shoo him away. But it wouldn't have hurt him if he was!
Having said that, please enjoy my retarded animal photo journal and my photos of my personal kids.

OK. This first section is a play by play of what Freckles would be saying if he could speak human: Oh and he only helps with the Whites. Mind you the entire time I am laughing my ass off and Sue is yelling at me, "It isin't funny, Jenn!" But apparantly I thought it was funny enough to bring my camera along in my pocket.

"Oh look, clothes on the line, is anyone watching?"

"Hmmm, what do we have in here... WHITES... I only help when there are whites being hung out! NEIGH... Oh, I mean, YEA!!!!"

"Did Granma see me?"
"OOPs I didn't do that, what are you looking at? It wasn't me, it was grandma, HONEST!!"

"Here, let me pick it up."

"Dang it, I don't have thumbs, let me just knock it upside down."

Lawn mowers hard at work
Misty at the salt block
Misty in the shade
Comanche in the lean too
Freckles trimming around the hay bales, honest that is NOT hay in his mouth
Peanut showing off his white coat after a bath and then he escaped outside...

Jeter guarding the lawn


And then because he couldn't resist the colors ....
Freckles in action AGAIN (needless to say he is in the barn now!)

OOOh... is anyone watching

*SNICKER SNICKER... she will wonder how she got this stain

Hmmm... Who used this wash cloth to take off makeup?

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I didn’t loose my kids

I must apologize for the last several posts. As I fight through my depression on the whole thing, I realize that I have not been all that clear as to what has been going on.

First. I did not loose my children. I might not be the best mom in the world but at least my kids have a fighting chance with me.

Second. The children in question are my cousin Georges daughter's kids. She lost them to the system over a year ago. She was partaking on questionable activities and her son, then 3, was; outside alone, in the street, with a steak knife, in the middle of the night, on several occasions. The neighbor who called the police on the situation had reported that it was not the first time and instead of getting the children safely back inside he choose to call the police.

Third – After the kids were in foster care for a year they were granted to my Cousin and his cuntfaceddouchebagnogoodbitch of a wife (and that is putting it nicely.) When Geo was down here, I don't know what went on up there, as they did not come and visit much. He would come down occasionally with the little girl. Geo made several ugly comments about me and basically burned his bridge. When he went back to NY to work (seasonal worker) I started to get the kids and bring them down here for a few hours here and there.

Fourth – There were things that just were not right and I couldn't put my finger on it. The kids were not physically abused But there was something going on. They ate an abnormal amount, they flinched when you hugged or kissed them, and they got defensive when you called any names. Let me qualify that remark. I often pick on my 9 year old in language that is used in her cartoons. Like Lilo and Stitch, Lilo says a lot, "You stupid head…" so when I pick on MY daughter and say something like that it is taken out of context and used like… when she walks into a wall and I might say something like, "Are you practicing to be a stupid head?" And little boy would get mad and sometimes strike at me and other times just yell at me stuff like, "Amanda is not a stupid head. I am the retarded idiot bastard." And it took patience (which anymore is like growing a third eye for me) but with perseverance and patience I convinced him he was not what he had listed.

Fifth – When the cuntfaceddouchebagnogoodbitch was here like to pick up the kids, I noticed (but did not piece it together until to late) that she spoke ill of the kids TO ADULTS (it is one thing to talk like that about someone who is an adult and can understand the frustration) but I really just thought she was blowing off steam to me or my aunt and I did not think (or want to believe) that she was actually calling a 3 and 4 year old that stuff.

Lastly – to make a long story short, she was, and she was not feeding them right. As a family unit we invested a lot of time and money into taking care of these kids, ONCE we realized what was going on. Meantime, Missy went back to court and was granted custody of her kids because she had completed all the things that CPS said she had to do. They didn't look at things like she is shacked up in a trashy trailer with a black man and they didn't follow up to see she quit her job moments after she went to court and was granted custody. When she told her mother, Karina wasted no time at making these children feel wanted. She took down the swingset and packed it in the truck, packed all of their clothes (except two outfits) and all their toys (except a few). Oh and that was the day she found out Missy had custody of the kids. The kids spent another two weeks dirty and living in two outfits. Little boy told me one day that he had to drink water out of the toilet because his grandmother had locked them in their room because little girl had pooped her diaper.


I am sorry I have been morbidly depressed and not very clear on my posts. My kids are fine. They are well rounded, well advanced, well behaved, and happy little brats. I can call my kids brats! I am not telling them that to their faces. They get a bath almost every night. They eat three meals a day and are allowed to 'graze' the rest of the day. They have room to play and are loved. Even when they are bad and looking down the barrel of punishment… they are loved. Did I mention that they are loved? They are happy.

Saturday, June 28, 2008


Of our entire day at Splash 'n the 'boro I got one pic

Mom made us get out of the water 4 a pic so ... cheese or whatever

Friday, June 27, 2008


I am so sick and tired of people saying how bad Don Imus is. Here is a link to a Wiki on his ranch for kids with cancer. Did you know he spends about $28,000 per child to have them at his ranch for a week... this is at no charge to the families. He also deals with children who have siblings that have died from SIDS. What an ass Imus is. Wow. Please note my gentle sarcasm. Really guys, gals... MEDIA... Give Imus a break. I have also seen a show on this place and it is fantastic. Anywho here is the link.

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

He Said…

I had the kids yesterday for the last time. They went home about ten p.m. and they left for NY this morning about five a.m. Needless to say, I've been a basket case most of the day. I've cried. Then I've cried again. My eyes are dry and they sting. My head hurts. My heart is heavy. I skipped my statistics test (I broke down and explained to him what was going on and how I haven't picked up a book all week) Anyway, here was the last conversation had last night.

Before they left last night, Molly (Mandy) was upset.

DJ – Aunt Jenn what is wrong with Mandy?

Me – She loves you very much but you should ask her and give her a hug and kiss, ok?

DJ to me – OK.

DJ to Mandy - Mandy, what is wrong?

Mandy – I love you so much that I miss you already.

DJ – Sissy and Me haven't gone yet.

Mandy – No, but I am afraid that I will never see you again.

DJ – Don't worry, I'll come back when I grow up.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Quote of the Day

My Neice, Becky, says to me (we are talking about movies) "Have you seen the Outer limits of the Universe?"
Me (because it struck me odd and I couldn't help myself) "No, I have poor eye sight."

Well I thought it was funny!!!
Here is a funny face to encourage you to laugh at my joke, this is Molly


Tuesday, June 24, 2008


I posted more b-day pictures to my photobucket, Tybee Island pictures, I guess you could say b-day two and three... LOL... hey we celebrate in our family... so she is two... she got three days of birthday!

Mental Health Day

You did what? When? Where?

Yesterday I took a mental health day. Yes indeedy I did. And it was good. No wait, it was great. My Cousin Ginger and her daughter Becky came down to visit my Aunt in Valdosta then they rented a car and drove up here. I had made a promise to Ging that if she ever came down here we would take a day and go to Savannah. Yea, you see where this is going. I played hooky from school to go to the beach. Well… I did. A mental health day. J What that don't sound plausible to you?

Look, I deserve this. I deserve the part of my family that is capable of love. I cherish time spent with them. I have had a horrible series of events unfolding before my eyes sense February and I have actively been taking Xanax for my nerves. I shall share one of the hot topics to set me off.

One year ago, January of 2007, another cousin's daughter lost her children to CPS. Now, let me back up. Our family, as scattered as we are, are close. The cousins in my generation have basically all grown up as brothers and sisters. There has never been a history of this sort of behavior in our family. There has never been a history of any issues really. Just normal family crap like brothers beating each other up, mild drinking problems… Get the picture… just little crap that most families go through. When person xx lost her children to CPS, we all got a real wake up call and smack in the face. While the children were forced into foster care, the grandparents (my cousin and his wife… and darn that is just odd thinking they are grandparents!) filed for custody. A year later they were granted custody of little girl and little boy.

Wow, that seems like a long time. But, it was an interstate custody issue. I think whole heartedly Cousin Xy and his wife fought for the kids. And I supported this. Stupid me. I supported this despite my deep feelings of dislike for the wife of xy. And for his sake, I have honestly tried to like her. And she is very likable when she is not stabbing you in the back or talking bad about people. Hey, we all have our flaws.

So, they get the kids. Now the wife of xy was not the best mother for her kids but I do think she tried the best she could. I will give credit where it is due. They have the kids. The kids are full of hope and love and G'ma and G'pa saved us. I have pictures that you can see the hope on their faces. They have a new start.

Then, she starts this mental torment to these kids. They are the little Bastard and the little Bitch, the retards, the idiots… mental abuse. Horrible woman. I cringe every time she speaks. Little girl is forced to wear shoes to small. I took money out of my gas check from an outsource for college and BOUGHT these kids shoes that fit. They were not allowed to wear them. I bought them bags of clothes and MY kids went without. Not that my kids want for anything or need anything but when you are contributing to supporting two other kids… your broke in a hurry. You cut corners like, washing your hair every other day so your kids can be clean every day (but not enough of a corner to go without a shower, love only goes so far). Anyway, never once was I thanked. But it is not about me. It is about a 3 year old girl and a 4 year old boy that have gone from the unknown bad to mental abuse. And I spoke for these people to get the kids. Stupid me.

So, last week on Tuesday the wife of xy announces that her daughter went to court for custody of the kids and won. Pick me up off the floor! What? And this 4 star word bitch took the swing set down and packed all their stuff in the truck. Everything got packed except for two changes of clothes and a few toys. The daughter was ordered to pay the financial responsibility for her mother to bring the kids back to NY and then be able to get back home. Yea, right.

The kids were over on Saturday for Lulu's party and I know the kids ate there, I made their plates and they cleaned them. We were invited to their house for a pool party on Sunday and we showed up with 9 kids and 3 adults and a shit load of food. Little boy says to me, "You sure got a lot of food there, do I get to eat some?" And I reassure him this is going to happen. One of the other mothers and I took turns shoveling food into the kids. Hey we are mom's and that is our job. But the wife of xy yells at the little boy every time she catches him eating.

On Sunday night Ginger and Becky show up. Monday I take her to the Promised Land. Monday about 7pm, I picked up little boy and girl and bring them to my house to visit with their aunt and cousin. The kids are starving. We do what fat people do best and cook for them and feed them. We make sure they get two hours of TLC and I cry bringing them home. Wife of xy says to me, "I don't know why you fed the little freaks, little boy threw half a plate of food in the garbage so I took it out of the garbage and put it back on the table and made him eat it. He tried to tell me that he did not eat garbage."

Me, :O


So, do you see… I was desperate for a mental health day. Not that it did much good. It was great at Tybee Island and touring historic Savannah. But the day was ruined by the wife of xy.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Birthday party 1 and 2

Ok, here are the pictures from the first two parties. LOL. Ok, the orginal plan was for Lulu to have the little cake (and take a video) at the birthday party, but mid morning she started to scream EAT EAT EAT, took the little cake out of the fridge and put it on the table. We were like, in PJ's still and all ... um all right... so... whatever! And there are more pictures in my photobucket, I just got tired of copying the links here.

Look we found the presents... Both girls got presents...

Cake 1... Yes that is a pink Duckie

Ohhh these are nice... but I'm not awake, I think morning starts at ten not seven... Molly

My new glasses
Ain't I cute?
What Den?
Cake two:
The big cake up close

I don't need a plate, the cake is right there

You think I'm taking a nap later? Look I'm wired, this is sugar... I'm two...

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Friday, June 20, 2008

Tomorrow is the big day

Tomorrow is Lulu's big day. She turns two! I have a shit load of homework, but I have been wrapping pressies all evening. Well… She went to bed at ten, so from ten to eleven Molly and I and Gram wrapped presents. It is kind of a pain because both the girls will get presents. Molly not as many but I can't let one open presents without the other opening any. I spent $30 at the dollar store, then Lulu got two pairs of shoes from the shoe store, Molly got one pair, and … I bought myself a pair to and that came to $70. But child support finally came in, so I wasted some money. I am usually very frugal. But hell, I needed a pair of shoes! So, after I wrapped the presents, I took a quickie in the shower… Still have plum stained feet… and I am now in the bed with the dilapidated old laptop.

Honest, last semester I still looked at this old thing and thought it still looked pretty nice and it still works pretty good for being four or five years old. But it is not. It is shabby and takes a bit to wake up… if I don't have to reboot it… Oh well. In the fall I plan to buy a new one, I just hope this one holds out that long.

Homework. I have all my homework done for my American Government class (I just have to type it up) and I think that instructor is a tad bit insane. No, joking on that one. He finds these articles of current events that are just jam up good. I enjoy reading them and posting my comments on them. I did think this last assignment was a little bit over the top, but he gave us three weeks to do it. Biology, I have that research paper done, I just need to type that… Guess I won't be blogging tomorrow! And I have a few certifies to do for statistics… but I've done the practices so, I will just attempt to breeze through the certifies on Monday. And there are a few certifies I need to do for the computer class, but those I will do on Sunday when the baby is sleeping. Maybe I will do the statistics then to. I don't know.

Posting for my blog… I hope to eek out a few minutes to download some b-day pic's to my photo bucket (the link called "What I really see" on the right side) but then… that is time contingent.

No blackberries for a few more days, maybe a week. *SIGH*

And the vet comes on Friday to give the horses their vaccines and pull a coggins on two of them. I am going to send two of them to the sale. I need the money for gas! I hate like anything to sell them. All three of them are rescue animals. I hate to have them fall into bad hands but really they need a chance to have another good home. I don't have time to work with them right now. They are eating, pooping, whinnying machines. But they mow a damn good lawn and when your front yard is two acres… it is relatively cheaper to shut the gate at the end of the drive way and let the horses in the yard from the field. Old Missy (35) trims all that tender weedy stuff from around the house. Freckles works on the back forty and Comanche works on the front and looks for ways to escape. I had to laugh. My aunt called me at school on Thursday and yelled at me. She was hanging out some wash and turned around and Freckles was routing through the clothes basket. She yelled at him and he took off with a pair of her slacks in his mouth. She and my uncle gave him chase. Freckles would toss the pants us, catch them, then he dog step Sue and Harry. She called me up and hollered! Oh she was mad. I told her not to chase him and he would loose interest in the pants. So, she sat outside and smoked a cigarette while talking to me and the big shit came over and dropped the slacks on the picnic table next to her then ran like hell! Needless to say, they had to be re-washed to get grass stains out of places that grass stains shouldn't be. And the vet wonders why I call Freckles a TURDBALL! Comanche ate herself sick in the yard. She actually put herself in the barn. It works out great though. They keep the law down to about an inch, aerate it, and fertilize it. Go buy a lawnmower that can do all that and not run on gasoline! I bet you can't!

But from reading another blog the other day, I got the idea of putting the horses in the freezer for winter. Would that be some weird sort of Cannibalism? I mean to eat your pets? Do they taste like bison or beef? My horses are fat, so probably like beef. That is a serious thought to consider with the price of meat at the grocery store. Um, you all know that I am joking, right?

Ok, well I guess it is off to bed! I am tired! But I smell good!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Oh My Feet...

Plums. Yes. Plums. Our plum tree decided to bear fruit this year. Nice fat little plums. Juicy, sweet, redish purple.... did I mention juicy? Well. The girls and I decided (after bath time) to go into the front yard and pick plum. I (being the tallest at 5'4; just 4" taller then Molly) would stand on tip toe and reach the branches and pull them down for the girls to pick the fruit. This was all good fun until LuLu decided it was more fun to stomp on the fruit that was on the ground. Now, we don't pick the fruit off of the ground! But... well... Lulu saw too it that we all had to stand and be hosed down!

After I washed everyones legs and feet down we came inside. I washed the fruit and put it in 3 walmart bags to take to the day care (we've already had our share and just couldn't eat anymore) but the wild boheims at the day care can! I put the cargo in the car to be ready for tomorrow and look down. There is a purple streak down my right foot. I slide my foot out of my sandel and look at it.

Mind you... I've already taken a shower! I've already washed my feet in the backyard! My feet are sticky and plum red juicy splatters and say nothing about the sweat ring where my sandel was. DID I forget to wash my feet>? I ask Molly and she laughs. No. I washed mine first! How in the Hell did they get so funky in less then ten minutes?

I then ushered the girls into the bathroom and stand them in the tub. I scrub their feet with soap and water (mine too). Ok. MY FEET STILL HAVE RED SPLATTER STAINS ON THEM. (the sweat line is gone, but the plum juice is staying strong.)

Any ideas... anyone? Let it wear off? I just took a green scrubbie and diluted bleach ... and that didn't work. My feet are a nice bright pink (the scrubbing i reckon) and smell like a pool now! But stilll... plum splatter streaks all over! Oh me!

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Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Statistic questions I got wrong

LL- the first one is one of the percentiles I keep getting wrong. I however NOW know what I did wrong. Let me tell you what I did. I emailed the teacher this, (Copy and paste from my sent email… yea… I am insane!) "Dear Sir (his name removed for privacy reasons) I need to make an appointment for you and I to sit down and have you talk to me like I have never seen a number before!"

Question 1) (Taken from Hawks learning software that accompanies my Hawks Beginning Statistics book) And I do have the correct answers to these.

The total of all the frequencies in a frequency table is 384. If a section in a pie chart corresponds to an item with a frequency of 138, what is the size of the angle of the corresponding circular wedge? (round to the nearest degree)

Question 2) ( and I missed all five sections to this!) But again, I have the right answer now and I know what I did wrong.

A sample of 116 motels is selected from a large urban area and the price for a night of lodging for a single room was determined for each motel. The mean rate is computed to be $85 and the standard deviation is $13. One motel charged $55 per night which is the 15th percentile. Another motel charged $119 per night which is the 75th percentile.

  1. What is the z-score for a motel charging $106 per night? Round your answer 2 decimals
  2. How many motels charged at least $119 per night? Round your answer to the nearest integer
  3. How many motels charged at least $55 per night? Round your answer to the nearest integer
  4. If the z-score for a motel is -0.5, what is the price of a single room at the motel (in dollars)?
  5. The median rate is at most $55 True or False?

Question 3) ( just for shits and giggles, I also got this one wrong) But, aha… I got know why and I got the answers

Find the chebyshev interval for which at least 75% of the data will fall if the mean is 450 and the standard deviation is 15

LL- just remember, you asked!

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Police Check Point

Sadly I am deeply amused by what happened yesterday. We (LuLu and I) were driving cross town on one of the rinky dink back roads (the back way into the bank) and we come around a corner and there was a road block. Now, they have been doing license and registration checks sense May and I have gone through a few of them, but … the key word is but… I was alone. Yesterday I had Lulu with me. I opened the window and waited for the officer to ask me for my stuff. Why you might ask. Well, because they really don't like for you to pre-empt a command.

I hand my ID out the window. He checks the date. Walks to the back of the vehicle and checks the sticker on my tag (our registration sticker goes on our license plate) comes back and says, "I need you to lower your back window." I do this. He looks at Lulu. She smiles at him and says, "Hi." I watch her in the rear view mirror (after I adjust it so I can get a good look). This is what transpires. Me, I kept a straight face.

Officer: Well, Hello there.

Lulu: looks at him real funny and draws in a breath.

Officer: Little lady, I am going to check your seat belt.

Lulu: draws a deeper breath, turning a pinkish purple.

Me: Ain't no damn fool, places hands over ears and tells the officer "She is going to scream"

Officer: It is OK mom, I deal with this every day.

His hand is moving very slow… or is that mommy vision? He touches the seat belt. She looks him dead in the eye


Officer: I have to check it.

He leans over her car seat to check that the car seat belt is clasped and pulled tight through the car seat. His body touches Lulu, only slightly, but he touches her. His head is about even with hers.

Lulu: Bad boy bad boy, wat u do n day ome for u. Bad boy bad boy… (Cops theme song) Lulu animated this by wagging her index finger under his nose.

Me: Stolic expression. Honest I thought there was going to be a screech heard around the block.

The officer laughs. Lulu goes into her second verse. The officer claps and eggs her on and wags his finger back at her. Other officers come near.

Me to another officer: none of you are wearing a Cap Cam… are you? I really don't want to end up on truTV.

Then I watch tentatively in my rear view mirror and the six or so officers gathered around the back window.

Officer: SO, you watch a lot of "Cops?" (spoken to me but lulu answers)

Lulu: no,naw. Gamma do. No, No momma.

Officer (with great humor in his voice but not quite a laugh): Do you like it.

Lulu: Oh yea. Azers! Azers!

Me: shocked, is my 2 year old to be saying she likes the tazers?

Officer: You like the Tazers?

Lulu: Oh yea. (then her deep belly laugh.)

Officer: Mom, here is your ID. Lulu… stay good.

I take my ID, thank him and we are off. He could have written a ticket for my windshield, it is cracked above the wipers but he didn't. He could have written a ticket for the privacy tint on the windows but he didn't. And of all the Disney we watch, why on earth does my two year old to be have to tell the police officer she likes the Tazer shots on t.v.?

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Sold... or something like that

I just want to clarify that I am a hetrosexual female. I like men and what their equiptment can do for me! After the last post I made, I felt inclined to clarify this!

Tempting... but I have to decline

Changing up the colors in honor of our rainbow warriors out in California and their right to gay marriage.


Monday, June 16, 2008

Just a note from the Armpit of America

Insert a few witty lines here. And here. And here again. I am frightened. Yes indeedy. I have never been so interested in a single class before this statistics class. Perplexed even. It is like, I totally don't know what is going on and yet I am doing ok. Well, maybe not, on the pre-test I got a 63. But… Hey in the lines of MATH, that is a stellar performance for me. But… that is not the point. I knew and understood the 63% I got right. I understood complex equations. Or anyway, complex to me. I have sat here for two hours now playing with the other % I got wrong (part of which is percentages but not percentages like I've ever looked at them.) Like finding the number that a percentage on a pie represents. :O That equals a real number, oh heck yea. Lets look a little closer at this. This is like so bizarre, that is, MY reaction to this class. I don't get along with numbers. I don't. Or right now I am trying to convince myself that.

No damn bones about it. But I understand this class. Do I have a right to be intimidated by the fact that I actually like a MATH class? It is like something is clicking. And… surprisingly… all the sudden algebra makes sense to me. DON'T ask. I hated algebra. It took me 4 try's and a C and a 1.94 GPA to get past college algebra.

So, make the call to the dreaded mother. "Ma, what was I like in HS in regards to Math?" momthebitch, "Well, you were really good at it until you decided that you didn't want to go to school anymore then you just… wouldn't do it." She pauses. "I was really surprised that you didn't rediscover your love for math in college Algebra. JXX and I were so confused why you didn't get it. Why?" me, sheepishly, "Uth, it makes sense now. I am kinda scared!" momthebitch, "naw, math is natural to you. English is not, and JXX and I were equally surprised that you did so well in all your English class that you took." Me… "What? I love to write." Momthebitch, "Yea, but your writing sucks." Bump u mommie dearest!

Ok, given, blogging… I am not the best writer. I just kinda blurb what is on my mind, skip the red underscored spelling mistakes, skip the green underscored grammar mistakes… and just more or less do a free write with some punctuation. And that sentence did not highlight green for a grammar error. Eth? Oh OK, whatever, I know it was a run on!

In other news, three exams tomorrow and I think these teachers sit in their little offices and plan this. And considering all three exams are teachers from the math/science division; I know it is a conspiracy. Really. Give me the statistics exam on a day by itself. I want to do good on it. No, I want to get a 100 on it. Not for the teacher, not for momthebitch, for myself. Bio – well… I can do better then what I will get on that test tomorrow. I have a few questions I didn't get a chance to ask. Computers… I have no clue. It is like the stuff we are going over I know, I even know a few different ways to get to point a b or c but the practice quizzes he has given us I have just gone: DOODOO brained!

Oh me. It is hot and getting to the point where the ponds are evaporating and the lingering smell of pond scum decay is hanging in the air. That is where I really get the "Armpit of America" thing for this area. It is stinky and dank! I wonder what I would come up with if I lived on the Byeau (no spelling suggestion for that) in Louisiana.

Lastly, if I added you to my menu bar, your stuck there. I am getting tired of hunting down my faviorte bloggers and I am getting lazy and ... on and so forth. ;)

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Happy Belated father's day

I meant to do this yesterday, but with the kids being sick, I just never got to it



Friday, June 13, 2008

Phobias, an antidote to my unfortunate night

Anyone, whom has an irrational fear of something that is most likely harmless, will understand this post perfectly. I was asleep (Wow) and woke up. Why? No reason, just a habitual thing. Well, the moon was kind of full (this was a few nights ago, just getting around to the post) and filtering in through my (over priced wicker type material blinds from JC Penny) and I saw it. It. An object with a mass amount of legs, my near blind eyes counted 8. Yes, eight to be exact. It's body was easily the size of a fist. Me, being the stupid- curious- brave- did I mention STUPID- one… shakes the blind to see if it moves. NOT really thinking that it would. IT did. And my near blind eyes actually saw it scurry upwards (I will fail to mention that the actual blind slid down a notch… keep some suspense here).

Me… decked in my tattered jammies… Oh Hell, I jumped out of the damn bed, pivoted on one foot, in one fell swoop snatched my glasses, a shoe, and turned the light on.

What did I see?

WHAT DID I SEE as my heart beat for escape from my chest, breath frozen in mid air


THE 4 no wait, 5 star word; knot – YOU know, the KNOT in the cord that adjusts the fricken level of the shade? Yea, that one.

Which reminds me how much I miss Grace, woman are you gonna post again? I feel saddened by your absence. My very first coherent thought? The day you told me so animatedly how you killed a spider with boiling ice cream in the shower. Gosh, I miss high school and you!

Thursday, June 12, 2008

How to use the TI-83 caculator

Step One - Run, don't walk, to the nearest steel beam and procede to WHACK your head as hard as you can.
Step Two - Repeat step ONE until you knock some damn sence into that thick skull of yours.


Statistics is not that hard of a class. I understand every word the teacher says. On it's own merit, understanding math to me is like understanding the Greek Alphabet. So, when I say I understand a math class... Armagedon is around the darn corner.

Well, that is, I understand the class until we (the students) have to get out our $140 calculator which is our "essential tool". The teacher then starts speaking Greek. Do this, that, hit this, that, then 2nd and this button, and graph.

mine says: syntex error

I repeat the process. My graph is there now, only off to the right. I raise my hand (meekly because he is a little bit of a turd and calls you stupid or tells you to wake up or mocks you in some sort or fashion if you have the audasidy to ask something and he moves FAST). He calls me up IN FRONT of the class. Blushing I go hither. I hand him my calculator like it is an offending object. His eyes flicker to the screen then to my face. He Bellows, "Don't you own a home PC?" Yes. "YOUR WINDOW IS JUST OUT OF ADJUSTMENT, FIX IT!" How? "There is a great set of instructions in the owners manuel." I slink back to my seat. I glance at the 100 page owners manuel and realize quickly that an Algebra text book reads easier then this. Some guy that sits in front of me, reaches back and takes my calculator and in less then a minute has reprogrammed it. I look at my graph. OH that is what it should look like.

In other news, my Biology class is a trip. That teacher is so smart he assumes we are all math majors. He asked us to make a scatter plot (that is not until chapter 12.1 in statistics) and that will be a lab exam. I have followed his directions. My scatter plot on the computer don't look like the scatter plot he showed us. He has also given us a very complicated algebraic equation to learn and we will be tested on that on Monday. This is damn Biology. Let me disect something for crying out loud.

The intro to computers class (which we need to get our degree here in the deep south) is a blast. We are learning MS office 2003 and I am running the newer version at the house and on the laptop. *SIGH* And most of this stuff is redundent. We get to learn how to use the internet on Monday. WOW. And the damn book was over a hundred bucks. We get one credit hour for this class. I wonder if he will show me how to make a scatter plot! I think I am gonna email him right this minute. Or the minute that I get done with my post.

Online Government is really neat. Our question today was should marijuana be legalized in light of the new studies that thc is stronger now then ever before (but not as addictive as nicotine or caffine). Oddly the majority of our class of 77 voted yes. GEE I WONDER WHY?

Off to bed for me!

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Zoop, Zop, Zilch, Zing *little frying noises*

One more day this week and my brain feels like it is on total and complete meltdown. I mean it. Like my brain is made of wax and my blood is saturating it at 180'f. None of my classes are hard, yet. They are just time consumming in an antagonizing way. It is like your there and there and there and intrested and then BOOM everything is bouncing off of you and your looking at the instructor with an odd glazed look in your eye. Or maybe that is the cold medicine. Hmmm.

On top of having a cold, a sinus infection,,, my algeries have decided to go into overdrive. So, I feel like I am drowning, with an incredible amount of sinus pressure, itchy watery eyes, itchy throat, and a constant stuffed up nose that is running. CAN I FLIPPIN WIN this week? Oh, or one side is stuffed up and the other side runs and if you blow your nose your ears pop. THIS SUCKS DONKEY ....

I do want to transfer some of my American Government links and my sassy talk over here. Maybe I will get that far later in the weekend as tomorrow is out. I will be at school from 7:30 am until about 6:00pm.

Material I bought today was an off yellow, kind of green eyelet on crepe. W'world had it marked down to .75c a yard and I went, "Hmm curtins for the kitchen for $2.75" and I bought the 3.5 yards that was left. I brought this home and my aunt went nuts. She was like, "OMG, OMG (the actual words, not chat lingo) this is WHAY too nice for kitchen curtins." and we bantered for a few minutes and then... she (is brillant) refolds the fabric and makes a few measurments and will use less then half of what I bought for the three windows and have enough left over to make a dress. Me... I am math dumb. I would have kept it on the orginal fold and wasted material if I made a dress. :) But my aunt really likes the material. She has picked it up and gazed it over about ten times this afternoon. That makes me feel good. I bought something for the house that other people actually like! That and she is under the stone impression (no indication from me) that I bought it specifically for her. ;) OK, I will give her that! She is pleased and it takes a lot to please her, so... yep, it is yours. But she don't believe the deal I got on it. EVEN tho the price was attached to the material VIA a staple (thanks to the dumbbutt clerk) but... WHAT EVER! For the record plain white eyelet on cotton is going for almost five dollars a yard. And that is at Walmart, if you get into the high end fabric stores you are going to pay dearly for eyelet material.

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Sunday, June 08, 2008

Gaw'd Aw Mighty

From the mouths of babes! This is apparantly Lucy's new phrase. She knocked over the dirty clothes basket (with two items in it) and hollard "Gaw'd aw might" as she slapped the two pieces of clothes into and righted it. I reckon it is time to start spelling things instead of saying them!


Friday, June 06, 2008

Looking for your TAX stimulus check

On the radio news, local radio station Y96 (wqzy) out of Dublin, Ga; they announced that the state of Georgia collected 4.3 million dollars in back taxes for the month of May by confiscating the tax stimulus checks. So, if you owe taxes... don't be looking for that stimulus check!

I for one need this check. I have a swing set and pool to replace that the tornado took out! The pool first!

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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The problem of showering

First I want to say, I am not complaining about the actual act of showering; as I desperately needed one. When I say desperate, I am not saying I have gone days or weeks without a shower, I just mean I felt the dire need for one. No matter what I did today I sweated and despite the fact that I used deodorant (and refreshed a few times today) I just felt like I smelt like salt and other stinky things. All right, now that we have the clarification out of the way, then why is it that when you are indisposed (i.e.: showering) that you think of the best damn wording for your blogs?

Topics I want to cover (so I can remember later) Obama, road kill not getting picked up, gas prices, telephones, President Bush, back to school, baby brat, and tonsils.

Let us start with tonsillitis and my daughter Molly. I was spoken sternly to by the family doctor today because Molly still has her tonsils. Like that is my fault? He did not understand why the ENT did not take her tonsils when he did the last set of tubes when she was 4 but he did take her adenoids. Again, like that is my fault? I begged, pleaded, cried, begged some more, offered sexual favors; the whole nine yards but the ENT still wouldn't take them because she had never had tonsillitis. And I explained this to the family doctor. I also told him that one week after her "recheck" on the tubes she did have tonsillitis but that was "normal" and "no need to put her under anesthesia again. To which I greatly agree, there is nothing more heartbreaking then the twenty minutes to two hours you spend fretting while your child is undergoing a "standard procedure". So, Molly has tonsillitis. Ironically she was not complaining of a sore throat. She just had a runny nose. I wanted some of the "good stuff" VIA prescription to give her. Well, we got it.

The terrorist in training went with us. I wanted the doctor to check her because I know just know, that she has phenomena however the doctor said, "Mom, it is all in your head, or the baby's anyway." Yea, and bite me, she is coughing so hard at night she wakes up crying. But I guess that is a figment of my imagination also.

School starts back tomorrow for me. La te dah te dah. But I am excited despite myself and I am actually looking forward to five straight hours of hell plus the online class. Maybe there is something wrong in my head! But it sure beats being home and bored because there is no work to be had in this area unless you have a masters, doctorate or at lease a bachelor's degree in something. And who has time for that? Well I do. I am making time for it because there is nothing else to do. I mean, I could just be bored and blog all day and fight with the people in the house all day, but hey; that really gets old and boring.

But that does lead into President Bush. I thought we were in a world of trouble when His daddy got elected in. It was like, "Hey we got a shrub for president." And then the first George Bush did actually end up being like a terminal termite to our great country. I actually used to be patriotic. I loved America. Our flag and everything we stood for. The first President Bush sure did change that outlook on life. So, when Jr. ran for president I actually registered to vote and voted for that billionaire (so broke I had to use spell check on that word) and then got summoned to Jury Duty. Ok, I am no longer registered to vote but I will get back to that topic. Anyway, Jr. has run us into an economic recession. Depression but no one will say the red words if fear it may be true. I have never gone so long without a job. It is a year and a half this June. I have never paid so much for gas. I have never paid so much for groceries. Milk today was $4.55 a gallon. And to make matters worse, the electric company just got the OK from the federal government to raise the price per kilowatt hour. Did Bush Jr. single handedly bring down our government? No, but I think he has an awful lot to do with it, just like his daddy. I think there were a few bills' he could have passed and some of the ones he did pass he could have done it earlier. Like raising minimum wage or actually sending out the economic stimulus checks. Hang on, I've just killed two ants and I have to make sure my bed is not covered, THAT would just be the perfect end to the perfect day! OK, I don't see anymore.

So, anyway, Bush has set the stage for the next president. The next president will have to wipe up the mess that Bush made. I am glad Hillary is out of the running. I don't think our first woman president should be blamed for the big fallout that is coming. I favor McCain. I favor him because he has a strong military background and I don't think he would hesitate to reinstate the draft. Obama? What a joke. Go ahead, elect him in. After all, we haven't had an assassination in a long time. We are over due. Down here in the Deep South that is word in cheek. You bring up Obama and within five minutes assisnation is brought up. I am not against a Negro being elected in. I am against stupidity being elected in. I learned from Obama so far that we have 58 states not including Alaska and Hawaii. Funny frown face. I have also learned that he is no longer Muslim but a Catholic Muslim … um… cough cough… DO WHAT? And just what God do you worship? OH MY. Um… IF YOU SAY SO. And please quite firing your pastors. (In the Catholic religion we have a priest, but you have a pastor… and you're a Catholic Muslim?) And that is all I am going to say about Obama.

I am going to skip telephones because my blog is getting lengthy. I will however cover road kill. I was reading an article on road kill not getting cleaned up in the salt belt regions because more then 80% of the roads and grounds budgets had been spent on the clean up from the bad winters. OK, I understand that. But didn't they also get emergency management aid? Oh, we are supposed to forget that part. But really, if you live in the salt belt, please don't fret this road kill not getting cleaned up thing. They don't practice it down here. At least the road kill will get picked up out of driving lanes in the salt belt area, they don't pick them up in any lane down here. You just play dodge the dead animal and the flock of buzzards. After all, buzzards have rights you know. What did concern me with the article is the fact that the local governments are allowing their townships to "Cop out" of their responsibilities. I guess our roads and ground commissioner will say that due to the rising fuel cost they will not longer be grading our clay road. But no, that won't happen. They love to torture us. They grade the road and turn the soft stuff up out of the ditches the day before it calls for rain.

I am done for today. This is not the post I came up with in my head in the shower. The one I came up with covered the same topics but was witty and well written! I think I have managed mediocre sarcasm and better written then many.

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Farwell to the president

<p><em><a href=">Write a farewell to the President<a/><p/>

Please join me and write a farewell to the president of the United States of America. I found these website compliments of Golf Widow I have a good post but I have to take the time to sit down and type it.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Small things count

Like the fact that I have only two children and only one of the two is bad half the time. Unlike my friend JR, she has three, one is a boy, and her kids are not bad; they are just noisy and busy and well,,, wild ass kids.

My kids have some resemblance of manners. Not that you'd know this when they are in a pack of kids and develop MOB mentality.

Despite having company and despite the fact that we had to go to the grocery store and were gone for three hours today; we still managed to get three outfits sewed together and finished and Molly's dress almost done (just have the zipper and one last seam), and I got a shirt cut out for Molly. If we get done what I have cut out this week, that will be fine and satisfying.

Baby is wiggling around and we have a spend – the – nighter… *SIGH* I guess that means it is my bedtime.

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