Friday, April 30, 2010

Bang Head Here


Quote of the day: "I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult." E.B. White. US Author and Humorist (1899- 1985)

Song of the day: "Against All Odds (Take a look at me now) Phil Collins

Today is Friday, right? Someone needs to tell the household pests. LOL. Today I have managed to haul my butt out of bed... cook breakfast (twice)... wake up kids... gets them dressed and functional ... harass Doc at work... walk and feed dog, water pets, make a decent pot of coffee (only took 2 tries boohoohoo)...ahhh damn... that's it. For a day that started at 4am (thanks hunny)... you'd think I'd done more.

I have about a dozen things I need to do this morning. Whoopie Doopie.

Found the stack of Christmas Cards and Thank You cards from kids... should I send them? LMBO. Yeap. That is how this year is going to be. Dang things are not even addressed.


Danger WILL ROBINSON Danger

Kosovo separatists confiscate Serbia’s telecoms

READ ME NOW

But somehow this does not over shadow the oil spill or the volcano. I think this is a lot more of an important issue to be in the news.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A little more to the Left


When things go bump in the night, I do get up and investigate them. Last night I kept hearing a tapping noise. I had just got into bed, it was 2:45am. I got up knowing I had to be the great defender of all (seeing Doc was at work) and this is what I found, Alvin re-arranging the wall art and Shasta urging him on. OK Al, next job is to remove the defunct wall unit and patch up the wall! And for the record Alvin is a camera hound and is willing to hold still and that is why he gets his pic taken more than the rest.

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Tuesday, April 27, 2010

TICK WARNING VIP

TICK WARNING! IMPORTANT!

I hate it when people post email warnings, but this one is real. If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM! They only want to see you naked.......

I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Is it ME or does he make a Queen size bed look small?

DAN the MAN

I had a dream

I am not sure what it means but I think it means that someone and I are going to go into separate directions because of lies. That is all.

*edit*
I am not sure how the dream started but I remember we were on a train, just two people. And all the sudden the seats split apart and he was on a different track than I. My went in a straight destination (that I later learned was oddly familiar) and his went kind of off like a roller coaster and another passenger said not to worry, the trains met back at the station, that one took the down town route where people can pick up anything or anyone they need. My train got to the platform and it was deserted and had nice wooden benches and the cement was wet like it had rained. As I got off the conductor said to have a seat, it was a safe neighborhood and to get a coffee and the other train would be by in about thirty minutes. I rushed to the ticket window to get out connecting tickets and realized that my partner had the tickets. So, I went over to get my coffee, it was a Starbucks but set up like a gas station, I got a cup of coffee and the clerk yelled at me that in this town you pay first then make your own coffee. But I had made the coffee first. I paid her and she said it was a dollar and seven cents with the sales tax. I said, "Oh I know where I am then" and gave her the money and she took my coffee and threw it away. she said now you make your coffee. So, I got one and went out to wait on the platform but my partner never showed.

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Friday, April 23, 2010

Bonus


Phineas (Above) Is Smarter than Jimmy Newtron

Alvin the Visitor

What do you mean I'm a horse?

Size matters. That is a standard size tennis ball the kids picked up for Jeeves at Pet Smart.
I know I Know
It IS PINK
Doc says it looks like Jeeves has mumps when he has it in his mouth!
BUT
look at 'Ol Al next to it! He won't stop growing!

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Friday Cat Blogging

I was just fixing my fur
Now I'm Daddy's purrrrrrty boy

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simple facts

It takes 7 seconds for food to pass from mouth to stomach. A human hair can hold 3 kg. The length of the penis is three times the length of the thumb. The femur is hard as concrete. The woman's heart beats faster than the man. Women blink twice as much as men. We use 300 muscles just to hold the balance when we stand. ...The woman has read this entire text. The man is STILL looking at his thumb.

Dear God (Joke from FB)

Dear GOD

Last year you took a few of my favorite people. My favorite actor Patric Swayze, my favorite actress Farrah Fawcet, my favorite singer Michael Jackson. I just wanted to let you know that this year my favorite reality show actress is Kate Gosslin, my favorite news caster is Larry King, my favorite presidential contender is Sarah Palin, and my favorite president is Barack Obama.

AMEN

Sunday, April 18, 2010

From Eternity to Here

I had a little fun recently by merely kicking back and thinking about some of the really nifty shit I've done during my stay on this here planet. My list is by no means all-inclusive, and I highly encourage you to compile your own list. Keep in mind that it doesn't matter how big or small your items/events are, so long as they are important to YOU! Meantime, here's my list (in no particular order). Borrowed From HOLLAND's Comet. I am sure I missed a lot of stuff but these were the highlights that came to mind and as they came to mind.

Since my arrival on this sphere we call Earth on 12/23/71 yours truly...
  • Watched my first ever 20 inning baseball game on April 17th, 2010. Cardinals v Mets. Mets took it 2-1. No runs until the 19th inning.
  • Played knock knock, ditch 'em.
  • Knocked on someone's door (on a bet) and asked if Mike Cunn was there.
  • Skipped school on Senior Skip day as a freshman, sophomore, and junior.
  • Drank JD. Might have been considered an alcoholic for awhile but quit cold turkey when I found out I was pregnant.
  • Waited until I was 24 to have sex.
  • Wore black framed glasses so I wouldn't be that noticeable as pretty.
  • Was/Am shy.
  • Irish Catholic church warped my life. I did not know until recent that Christianity and Catholic were of the same religion. I was scared the Methodist Church was going to burn down by entering. It never did of course.
  • Posed for questionable photographs in HS to make money to pay the bills.
  • Raised my mother.
  • Got Bob Newhart autograph for my friend Nuite at a bathroom door at a rest area in New Baltimore, NY. Nuite was too chicken to approach him, I'd worked a double, was tired and looked like shit. The signature was on a napkin. I wonder if he still has it.
  • **UPDATE** Signature is still in existence!
  • Mom worked for the newspaper so I had back-stage passes to all the great shows of the '80's and 90's, met most of the headliners and opening acts.
  • Got kissed by one of the band members of Anthrax when I asked for his autograph during the interview process. On the lips. I just blinked my eyes and asked why he did that, he said I was the first person to ask for his autograph. Awww shucks. I told him I was a virgin and didn't do stuff like that. He laughed. But it was the truth!
  • At the Wasp, Slayer, Raven show I got caught in my first Mosh Pit circle. Some dude wearing a cowboy hat and boots, smoking a cig, snatched a bewildered me by the shoulder out of the mad rush of circle slam dancing and held me firmly by the shoulders in front of him.
  • Smoked a joint with the members of the band Black Crows when they were sitting on a curb at the rest area in New Baltimore looking all forlorn at their broke down 70's something van. I was getting off of work and saw a bunch of people sitting on the curb that looked like people I'd hang out with. Another one of those never ending shifts. I just sat down next to one of them and they were passing a joint, it came to me a few times before they even noticed I was there. we all had a great laugh on that one! I later met them the next night at the show I was covering for my mother and we had a second laugh. I did not publish the first meeting however, gotta save grace once in a while.
  • Met Metallica at the same rest area before they got Real BIG, I think it was the ...and Justice for all tour... I was pissed off about something (who me?) and stormed out the back door of the place I worked and started to punch the outside freezer. The lead singer, James Hetfield grabbed my hand in mid-swing and told me not to break that pretty little thing. First I was amazed at how big they all were, not fat just fit like big, and how short Lars Ulrich really was. I remember bursting into tears! He stood there and lectured me for a minute and I snapped out of the anger/shock and actually introduced myself. I told him I wasn't suppose to meet them until 5pm! LOL. We all got a good laugh at that. Was really uncomfortable at the actual interview because they'd already met me and saw me have a human moment...(I wasn't in control, you see, the interviewer is always in control but they had something on me)... but wrote a great piece anyway. Then had rocking seats for the show because they "upgraded" me.
  • Met Hank Rollins twice. Once when they tried to run over us with the van (us being NYPINTA and I) and the second when I was 7 months preg and waited to meet him with NYPINTA. Sigh. Then he yelled at us for being in the wrong line. We told him that the ushers downstairs had directed people in two directions! First show I had to wait to meet someone! But it was spoken word and right up my alley.
  • Got mad at Hank for using Eye Scream as the title of his book after I had shared with him a poem I wrote with the same name. Fucker, where's my cut.
  • Gave birth to first child without any Drugs.
  • Gave birth to my second child with Drugs.
  • Shot someone. On purpose.
  • Experienced a psychotic episode and almost killed the doctor that refused to do the C-section when second child got stuck. I laugh now, they had to restrain me and eventually knocked me out. I was scared to death at the time. I said, "I DID NOT CARRY THIS CHILD FOR 9 MONTHS TO LOOSE HER NOW" and meant it. All in active labor had the doctor by the throat up against a wall. Shocked really that I didn't drop the baby out, kicking and screaming as 3 men carried me to the bed and restrained me.
  • Attempted to write a book with NYPINTA before we got out of HS.
  • Still attempting to get the book right only now I've scratched 90% of what we did and am working on a new layout. Maybe one day.
  • Write bad poetry when the mood hits.
  • Fell madly in love with Jim Tome's batting style and that renewed my faith in the Cleveland Indians. The way he looked in them tight white baseball pants helped! Heh, Heh. I am human!
  • Owned the best dog ever. Jeter. Jeter after Derick Jeter and only because he wouldn't come to Tome! LOL. Brian and I were watching a NY Yankee game and it was DJ's big year. Every time they said Jeter, my puppy would look up with his ears all picked up. That was after a dozen or so names we had tried. I said, looks like he named himself. I said "Jeter" and he looked at me. So, that is how he got that name. But, I still cry thinking of his death and loosing my best friend!
  • Worked at a prison. Renewed my cussabilty.
  • Quit the prison and went back to college at 35, that sucked.
  • Finally got to see The Boss. Show rocked. I almost had heart failure at the ticket prices.
  • Got fat.
  • then Fatter.
  • Lost sight of my hopes and dreams.
  • Swore I'd never date again.
  • Swore I'd never make new friends again.
  • Met Kelly. (aka Philly) And realized that friends are cool. Well, Kelly was! I miss her so MUCH.
  • Met Jen R. Realized I was sane.
  • Ended friendship with Jen R. Realized I was sane.
  • Found my account on FB that I made up for a class at college and went to delete it but realized that I had a bunch of friend request's from people I actually KNEW! Accepted invites and joined their Mafia's for a game.
  • Became a Mafia Wars addict. But I only play the free part not the pay part. LOL. So, not that addicted!
  • Found my heart, it was hiding in Tennessee, who'd have looked there?
  • Met Doc.

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Friday, April 16, 2010

Tasteless

Joke of the day
This whats happens when you pee on a 220 volt electric fence! 




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Global Warming?

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Real Story of the Three Bears

The Real Story of the Three Bears


A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....


Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my
porridge?' he squeaks..

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks
into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my
porridge?!?' he roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and
yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this
with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear
who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put
everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch
The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn
table.

'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter
tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs
and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully,
because I'm only going to say this once.....



'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F***ING PORRIDGE YET

Everything I Know I learned from Noah's Ark

Everything I Know I learned from Noah's Ark

1- Don't miss the boat

2- Remember that wee are all in the same boat!
3- Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark
4- Stay fit. When your 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
5- Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
6- Build your future on high ground.
7- For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
8- Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
9- When you're stressed, float awhile.
10-Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
11-No matter the storm, when you are with GOD, there's always a rainbow waiting.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Naked Snoopy Dance

we are home. again. finally.

Last time the kids went to Georgia to visit for a few days, when they came home, we pulled in the driveway and Amanda started to cry. Relief. 'Tweenie emotions, whatever.

When we pulled in the driveway a few hours ago it was my turn. We are home. This is where we are meant to be and I am grateful for the small deviations from home that make me appreciate it that much more. I even confessed this to Doc when we were standing on the front porch just "taking in some air". I don't confess emotions regarding crying much so tonight is just a monumental thing for me.

you have not missed much. Last friday we sat in traffice for 10 hours. I made a confession to Doc about some guilt and we got off of the interstate to use the facilities. Suddenly we were able to aquire directions to an alternative route and got home in less than two hours from there. the funny thing was, the ONLY place we made time was on I75 in downtown Atlanta. (we'd come up from Macon instead of across Fermi and Dave in case you wondering WTF we were doing downtown). I actually took that strip in 6th gear at 80. The only part of the trip prior to the change of route where I had the 6 speed in 6th gear! I think, not to preach, that God wanted me to tell Doc about my guilty feelings about skipping this semester. He showed us an alternative route. Now we just need to find a way to stay on it.

we had also dug up my Japanese Maple (pictured in other post) and planted it here. She is doing lovely I hope she continues to love her new home.

We had a dull week without the kids. Being broke does that to one. LOL. But we did take one afternoon and go to Barnes and Nobles and ...err.. browse... errr... and ... oh hell spend money we don't have to spend but WTF. Not only that but I made Doc go back on our way out of town and bought two more books. Oh darn.

Started writing again. Now that I got the source that I wanted for reference. I got 849 words typed. Should be more but my mind is racing and I've had a problem harnessing that into actual words. LOL. I have half the story wrote in my head it is getting it to computer!

Back to get the kids, I dug up a few blueberry bushes and a few of the plum tree saplings. Need to plant them tomorrow and hope they take.

Wasn't that worth the trip over here to read? LMBO. Lawrd, we lead dull lives. But the kids are home and we plan on staying here ALL DAY and not leaving. Yea, let you know if that happens. LOL.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Worry Tree

The significance of the tree falls into the Thin Spaces post. Here is the story the best I can remember.

There was a couple that had been married for 50 years. When inquired about this long marriage and long friendship, the man did not give the typical answers. He replied, "Every night when I come home I pause at the worry tree. I give the tree all of my worry's, aggravations, frets, and issues of the day. I trust the tree to keep them and give them to to Lord to help me sort out, ON MY TIME. Every morning I faithfully return to the tree and pick my worries back up. The amazing thing is that they are not so bad when I pick them back up. Having the faith that my problems can be sorted by a higher power gives me faith that my relationship with my wife and family can be in existence by our power and love and guidance of a higher power.

I was telling Doc about that story after I replanted that tree. He made the remark that the "Worry Tree" was most likely that man's "Thin Place."

Thought I would share.

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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Happy Anniversary Doc

One year. We made it a year. What an interesting and difficult year it has been. It has been a year of growth and adjustment for all four of us but mostly for Doc. He has had to learn to be a dad and he is really super good at it. He has taught me a few things about being a parent too, which no parent likes to admit they are not perfect, LOL but at least I admit I can adapt too. I wanted to get this post in before the actual date of April 1 but that little thing called life erupted and we were on the road. Here is a pic of the flowers Doc gave me on the eve of our Anniversary. TY Doc, I love you. We are good. And Good leads to Great. We just have to continue to grow (IN KNOWLEDGE NOT GIRTH) and adapt!

XOXO

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