Feeding off of NYPINTA

OK, I am reading NYPINTA and I get this sudden urge to post.

What in the hell is wrong with shopping for yourself before a holiday? I have done it every year. Mostly because I am deprived. Really. No one knows how much Christmas sucks or how much your liked or in my case NOT liked; until they have a birthday 2 fucking days before Christmas. With the exception of NYPINTA, I don't think I have ever received a birthday present
a) seperate from a christmas present
b) not wrapped in christmas paper

I however cannot seem to get into the holiday spirit this year. I am just mad. I mean, really really angry. I have gone through the motions and put the f**king tree up and put up the villages and all the other decorations (considering I will be gone the month of December ... ok I get back on my birthday, whoopie sh!t, and have to get it done now or it won't get done at all). So bitterly I have decorated the house. Every time I turn the lights on I am angry.

And then when I can't be angry anymore I go into my room, curl up on my bed and weep. I broke up with Tony on the 22 of this month. Do I go through this alone or should I have an abortion? Vote?

been busy

I know I have not blogged. Been having a hellova time. I don't really have anything to say. I got the job at the prision and now I understand why parents tell their kids to stay in school. I will be gone for a month for "boot camp" for the prision. Whoopie. Not really looking forward to being away from my daughter for a month, but I find I have little choice IF I want a decent paying job. Keep ya'll's fingers crossed that I will make it through the physical part of boot camp. YIKES!

only one concerned here

I went to my dr on tuesday about a spider bite on my ear that had a rash into my hair line (yikes... welcome to alergic reaction hell). so doc gives me a cream and a steriod. OK a week later and the rash is worse, it is over my one hip (looks like finger nail scratches there) and all around my pants line... I go back to the doctor and she says just to keep putting the cream on the spots it is just hives. I've had hives before they were raised round lumps, not scratches. I'm kinda scared here. anyone got some advise? web MD isint even helping much.