Sunday, March 27, 2011

Because somewhere I failed

Song of the day: Penny Lane

Quote of the day: Momma's got a fat ass. Lucy Ganoe

And I thought I was doing right
By Jenn Ganoe

Ever have a day where the pillow looked at you and said, "No, you don't really want to go out there?" Well me either but I wish it did today.

Welcome to my world. My real readers know that I have two children that fall into the Autism Spectrum. And kids like this take many things literally. However, I am like Sarah Palin, and I love my retarded babies. I can say that. They are mine. If you say it I will duck tape your mouth shut and hang you from the Brooklyn Bridge by your toenails.

In second 31 before I poured my coffee the incident happened.

We try not to swear. We try to use alternative means of it. Sometimes categories... Oh 5 star word. Sometimes alternatives.... what a donkey. Spelling is no longer an option but partial or misspelling sometimes works. SH is shit. F-bomb rhymes with duck. Sometimes make believe words... oh googlie goop. And sometimes sign language... ie pointing to something like your ass . We switch it up so certain small children don't learn potty words.

Today. They could have at LEAST let me have my dayum coffee. Today Amanda (my 12 year old going on Paris Hilton and Taylor Swift) said... "I was just thinking that you are a wise thing behind your back."

Cut me some slack I was still doing the funky wake up thing.

I turned and looked. "Table?"

Amanda, "No it is attached to you."

Something behind my back that is attached to me.

NOT THINKING. "My ass? Are you implying that my Ass is so big that it sticks out so far behind my back that... are you saying I have a big ass?" Sleepy now Angry mommy totally forgot the first part of the discussion.

Lucy begins to chant, "momma's got a big old ass! She said she does!"

Amanda, "No. but you are a wise ass."

I took my coffee and hid in my room for 20 minutes. I came out to be greeted by Lucy still singing her song.




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