Blog. Blog. Blog. For the record we got more rain yesterday and today.. the one day we were not suppose to get storms, we just got done with a big (20 minute long) boomer. *SIGH* and we are suppose to get MORE DAMN rain all week!
I don’t feel like blogging tonight or all day for that matter. I feel like I am about to have an internal civil war. LOL.
I got to giggle this evening. I assembled the new osculating fan. Whoopie! The old one lasted 7 years and I am one of them people that likes to have it blow on me while I sleep. Hot, cold, I just like the damn fans! So the old one shit the bed about a month ago, I just didn’t get around to buying a new one. Or more accurately I didn’t want to pony up the $30. But with the 150% humidity we got going on, etc, I figured why the heck not.
So, fan assembled, partially, they sent me two back...so I called them and a front is on the way... mean time I zip tied the backs together to "Fake it" until the front comes via ups.
My daughter walks into my room and the breeze blows by here. She stops all movement and looks at the fan. Then she like ... she.. patches out in front of the fan. Modeling all these moves and swaying with the movement of the fan.
Finished she yells "THAT WAS A BLOW JOB"
me.... mouth a gape
daughter "I’m all blown now"
me... stunned silence
daughter "Mommy did you see me, i got blown away"
me.."Perhaps we should say, mommy I just got wind from the fan"
daughter... "Naw, the new fan BLOWS"
daughter "Whats wrong with a good blow?"
me... (major attempt not to laugh) "Um, nothing. But..." (at a loss of words on how to explain that there is an alternative way to say what she is expressing and what she is saying could be construed as bad)
daughter. "i’m gonna go tell poppa you gave me wind"
me... thinking to self... thats better.. now good ol gramps will thing child has gas
and speaking of gas, there is something I have to fess up to... I blogged this on "ASKEW" but I'm gonna share it here to
all right I can't sleep. I've a guilty conscious now.
Ever do something so heinous that you just had to blame someone else? Just this once I will admit to quaffing off a SBD (Silent But Deadly) fart.
Let me set the scene for you. We are in the backyard pool side. I am sitting in the cast iron glider. “G” is sleeping in the wrong spot, under the glider. I let rip this nasty nasty quiet fart. (“God, that’s good!” insert Sweeny Todd song from Jersey Girl) And “G” pinwheels out from under the glider and looks at me a second.
He then sniffs the air and squints his eyes and sneezes. Three times like a polite little girl. Then his whole body goes rigid and his tail shakes. He hen races from the oasis by the pool. Last glimpse of him his eyes were watering.
My aunt looks up at me and asks, “What was that all about?”
Innocent me, “From the smell of it, he just farted and tried to blame me!” Yes I pushed the buck. I let loose a SBD and blamed the dog! I guess I am lucky he came back home!