Men Beware

HYSTERICAL... if you are at work, cover your mouth, you WILLlaugh out loud!! In a Chicago Hospital , a gentleman had made severalattempts to get into the men's restroom, but it hadalways been occupied. A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if youpromise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there henoticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Each button was identified by letters: WW , WA , PP20and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. Warm water wassprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men's restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WAbutton. Warm air replaced the warm water, gentlydrying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A largepowder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scentof spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure. Theladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, hecouldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knewwould be supreme ecstasy. Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in ahospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. "The last thing Iremember was pushing the ATR button." "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Yourpenis is under your pillow."

Divorece V Murder

DIVORCE VS. MURDER

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some Cyanide."

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

hermit happens

The Direct TV is now hooked up and Harry and Amanda have discovered all their favorite channels that we lost with dish network. Ahhhh. Silence. Amanda introduced Lulu to Zaboomafloom on PBS Kids. This is a show about two brothers that have this little zoon environment. She is SO into it!

Mrs L's joke of the day, Hunny, Ya likes this one? Hee Heee

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
'I know,' the old man said. 'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago.'
'Well,' Granny snickered. 'Let's relive some old times.' Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table..
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps. 'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.'

:O

Quote of the day: "Love is not enough. It must be the foundation, the cornerstone - but not the complete structure. It is much too pliable, too yielding." Bette Davis (1908 - 1989)

Song of the day, "Sanitarium" Metallica
Song of the day, "I'm going slightly mad" Queen

I am about to go fucking insane. Brian called and he wants to come down on March 29 to April 4 because that is Mollys vacation from school. I told him no, we had plans. He said he would meet us there. I asked him to please not to. I almost called sweetums and blatted about this but I know himmie is sleeeping. I told Brian he'd have to call me later to fuss and discuss this matter because I was getting stuff for everyones colds and couldn't talk. SIGH.