Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Wow, tomorrow and what that shall Brigit forth

I took the time to shave my legs and wash everything two or three times. And no, I'm not getting married. Let me repeat that, I took the time to shave my legs. I went shopping and bought a pair of pumps. And no (LL), I'm not going to start hooking. I will be attending a luncheon with the President of our college, a few select people, and Ret. Major General Perry Smith. OOOOH am I the big turd on the totem pole, or what?

OK or what. But really it is neat to have this opportunity. Not that I don't see enough of the President of the college! Dr. Black is my Bio teacher. IS that a shitty standard or what? I mean, it is not like I am not going to do well in that class. (Note the sarcasm, heck I am studying Bio so much, I might as well change my major to the Bio Sciences!!!!! And despite all that, the best score I've managed to get on a quiz is 8 of ten points. The worst is 7 of ten points.

College aside. I read WOW's post today. Man, I was right there with her.

So, here is how my day went; just a glimpse into an average Jenny day in Jennyland.

I didn't sleep well, so when I woke up at 4:45 am to whimpering puppies, I was not a very happy camper. They decided it was time to go out when my body decided it was time to sleep soundly. But, I got up, put them out, made the coffee, spilled the grinds all over the counter, soaked my foot in a grand attempt to fill the pot with water and then had to run to the potty because the sound of running water had the nerve to wake my bladder up!# Upon completion of task three I went back and cleaned up the mess of task two. While the coffee was brewing and smelling very good, I went outside to smoke a cigarette and promptly stepped in puppy poo. Thank goodness one puppy weights 1.5 lb and the other weights 3.5 lb and the equivalent of poo was about the size of my cigarette. However, it grossed me out. I cleaned it off my foot with a baby wipe and promptly puked. The gag reflex hit over drive when I realized the pups were eating the liquid vomit I had just expelled. I ran back into the house and for the bathroom. Here I spent about ten minutes gagging and bringing up icky stomach acid stuff. Not really vomit because I realized about now that I never ate dinner last night, or lunch, and couldn't remember if I ate a bowl of cereal or not. That didn't help. I brushed my teeth.

I then ventured to the cabinet to get a cup for the coffee, because it smelt gooooood, because I was hungry, because I made the coffee to drink, and mostly because at this point I really needed to get my body kick started for the day. I dropped the empty porcelain cup that I called my favorite. I then had to stop, find the broom and dustpan to clean up the mess before I could try again. This time I did manage to pour myself a cup of coffee (using one of my aunt's cups) and consequently I used her coffee creamer. Not that I mind, but I really prefer Fat Free French Vanilla to Half and Half. But, I did not realize this until I took a great big swig and gently spit it into the sink. I left the cup there and tried a third time and finally got it right.

4:56 am, I let dippy and dolittle in. They kind of bounce around some and do puppy stuff. I sit down and have a cig and this cup of coffee. AHHHHH. And not as in, YUM damn good coffee, Ahhhh as in …. SOME DAMN PUPPY THAT I AM SUPPOSE TO LIKE is chewing on my big toe that don't have a toenail. I can't kick the puppy off my foot so, I roll up my homework page (Chem, that I left out and DIDN't put away) and swat General T. The little shit then graps the paper and puts teeth shreds in it. I swat him again and again he makes a playful grab at the paper. Maybe I should have whacked him, but I don't want to hurt him. So, I put the mangled 4 hours worth of work in my binder, put the binder away and glare at the pup. He just gives me a stupid look. I pick my cig back up and realize that it is out.

DAMNIT I am gonna have this here coffee and a cig. I take a sip of my coffee and miss my mouth.

5:00a.m = I pick out our outfits for the day, Pack Lulu's diaper bag, set a pack of diapers out to take to the day care, pack Molly's lunch, put an extra outfit in her book bag for PE, Pack my Book Bag, and get dressed.

6:00am = wake up the kids by putting insane puppies in their beds. Next time I will get the camcorder out for this@!!

6:15 a.m YELL at Molly to get her hump out of the bed before I take a switch to it.

6:25 –pour a second cup of coffee and sit down to put my shoes on. Puppies tangle the laces. I cuss.

6:30 make sure both girls are eating and load the car up.

6:45 = remind Molly to brush her teeth and hair, get her shoes and socks on, and take LULU to the car.

6:55 – run back inside to see what is taking Molly so long, she has on one sock and is watching cartoons. I inform her that I am leaving and she gets mad.

7:03 Molly comes out to the car. I yell at her all the way down the road and then make her listen to the DC and Family radio show instead of Hannah Montana.

7:15 Molly yells at me because she don't want to hear that crap.

720- I pull the car over and tell her she can walk the next 20 miles to school if she wants to keep up with her mouth

725 – I pull into town and debate about abandoning my children at the police station because Molly is still yelling and pitching a fit and Lulu is crying because Molly is yelling.

730=740 calm Lulu down at the day care before taking Molly to school

742= drop Molly off and return her dirty loo

750 arrive at College

800 Chemistery



Blogger LL said...


9/10/08, 10:41 PM  
Blogger The W.O.W. factor said...

LOL!!! To all of your day!!!! I can see you dropping the kids off at the police station and then sending them to your house because you've been invaded by black little bity-chewy munchkins!!! Hope your day got better!!! Still Laughing!!!
~See Jenny, I can laugh at you too! Cuz I've been there too! Long ago, but you stirred the memory! And I hear Heidi (daughter) when I read your words describing her mornings!!!!
Have a great tomorrow!
( jinxed me you know, you asked how I was typing with my wounded pinky...well not worth a sh** these days! Since all that thrashing the other nite, it hurts like heck!!! I think my new keyboard is having a migraine! THX!And maybe the pinkie should be amputated! Cowboy says no, once the 'proud flesh' quits growing, it'll fall off and feel better! Dunno how he knows that, did he ask horses if the pain went away?? huh?)

As for LL...I think you done lost his mind on this post! hee hee

9/11/08, 1:50 AM  
Blogger Renie Burghardt said...

Oi Veh! One calamity after another. You are a busy bee, Jenny! Hope today is a bit calmer.



9/11/08, 7:29 AM  
Blogger PetLover said...

Having just discovered your blog -- I am in tears! This sounds like my friend, Amanda's, life! She'll often call me and say one word: HELP!

It's never funny in that moment but looking back on it just has us rolling!


9/11/08, 8:45 AM  

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