Wednesday, March 04, 2009

I got it and oh yea 27 days to go I think

I am sick, Yes indeedy I think I got what the girls and Sue had last week. UGH. I did take a minute to read my email and here is a joke from Mrs L to cheer everyone up!

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade> students. "Human beings > > are the only animals that stutter," she says. > > > A little girl raises her hand. "I had a> kitty-cat who stuttered."> > > The teacher, knowing how precious some of these> stories could become, asked the girl to describe the> incident. > > > "Well," she began, "I was in the back> yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door> got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over> the fence into our yard!" > > > "That must've been scary," said the> teacher. > > > "It sure was," said the little girl.> "My kitty raised her back, went Sssss, Sssss,> Sssss' and before she could say 'Shit,' the> Rottweiler ate her!" > > > The teacher had to leave the room.

OK Maybe two of them

Why I fired my Secretary. Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me.' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !' We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner.' After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, ' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake .... Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'. And I just sat there... On the couch... Naked.

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Blogger Michelle said...

I feel you girl. I believe I have coughed up at least one of my lungs today.

3/4/09, 5:59 PM  
Blogger Red said...

at least your not puking so hard you almost pee your pants! Or walking around thinking your gonna puke when everyone is taking their loving time at the store.

3/4/09, 6:39 PM  
Blogger Renie Burghardt said...

Hey Jenny,

That was a funny birthday story, but I why was she naked????? (Haha)

Sorry you are sick again, kiddo. I think you'd better start using a lot of Germ X on your hands, and a mask on your face, if you wanna get to Gatlinburg in good health!



3/4/09, 6:59 PM  
Blogger Red said...

I guess the person in the joke was thinking about having an affair!

I use Germ-x or the lysol brand of it. I have OCD with hand washing, I have sprayed the house down on a regular basis with everyone sick with disenfectent spray (Lysol) I have washed everything in bleach... nothing gives!

3/4/09, 7:54 PM  
Blogger fermicat said...

Thanks for the laughs!

3/4/09, 10:00 PM  
Blogger Jeni said...

Loved the jokes. Keep 'em coming as I really need some good hearty chuckles to get me a bit motivated.

3/5/09, 4:13 AM  
Blogger The W.O.W. factor said...

Oh Jenny, I'm so sorry you are down with the crud!!! But better now, so you can be well before the "Date"!
I hope everyone is taking care of you like you did for them...
Drink up that chicken soup, snuggle deep in the covers and sleep...sleep!
Hugs Dear Sissy~~

3/6/09, 10:05 PM  

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