Sunday, October 25, 2009

updates

"Fitness, if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body." Cher (1946- )

Posting again because Doc is referring to my facebook posts in order to read something.

Spent a few weeks being sick. Tired of being sick. On antibiotic. Feeling better. Still have a mild runny nose and a cough. Dealing with it. Grumpy about it. Not a good sick person.

I have tried to post a few pictures here and there. To keep a little update and maybe a small circulation of readers coming back.

I am working on making Halloween costumes. Yea, whoopie (really... whoopie? wanna?) LOL J/K. Lucy is going to be a Bee. I cussed a bit and cut out the 21 pieces of the pattern and pinned them to the fabric. Mandy wants to be Sponge-babe. Yes, babe. I know, I know, she is like 10... DON'T remind me because she gave me a headache with the boy crush crap earlier today. Ask Doc, I text him I had a knock over a horse headache! LOL. Sponge babe is basically the same as sponge bob only it is a human girl dressed like sponge bob in a skirt. The costume at the store was $60. So, I am making a skirt and piecing together the rest. I will let Doc to be the one to reveal what he and I are going to be. I have his ready to cut out. Mine is still in the package. LOL. If all else fails... I will go as MOM.... Pbbblbbth, take that!

We did go after school on Thursday to what the city folk call a pumpkin patch. For the price, we could have got the same things at the grocery store or Walmart. However, it was decorated nice and we did have fun.

Lucy telling Doc and the business owner something. Don't Doc look excited beyond all means?
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Mandy getting caught in a spider web.
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Girls (couldn't get them both to look at same time) with the scarecrow. Seeing Mandy looked at the camera above I chose to to use the one here with Lucy looking at the camera.
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I feel bad about the state of the house. I feel bad about the state of my car. I feel bad about the state of my emotions. LOL. Life has sucked for me the last month.

I have wrote the letter to my blog ten times quitting blogging because I am just ... not with it. And then I go and read your all's blogs and peek at the blogs on Doc's blog roll and realize, I love blogger and I am not leaving. LOL. The bold words when your sick and feeling sorry for yourself, right? And blog is not alone. I haven't been to facebook in two weeks except a few updates on the phone but really... just whining and complaining.

I have however decided that any blogging and page views will be limited to an hour a day and preferably after the munchkins have gone to bed. Hope this trend catches on to other ppl. LOL. Right.

I have been so sick. I don't even want to go there! I think if it were the Flu then everyone would have it. When I picked the girls up from Georgia I went to the doctor. $200 later I found out that by ignoring a sinus issue it got infected and by ignoring the building pressure.... they got impacted.... funny I had told Doc when I got back from Georgia he was making me an appointment with his dentist... the doctor also told me that the impacted sinus were most likely giving me Jaw pain. So, the doctor gave me a sinus medication, an antibiotic, and a muscle relaxer.

A week later... I am not coughing until I puke or piss my pants ... hey breakthru! HA HA. No pun intended!

I am hoping I feel good enough tomorrow to get out to the car and finish unpacking it from last weekend. It is a new car and I do not want it DIRTY and that is what it is right now. GRRRRR!

As far as the house goes, it needs a good cleaning. And I will get to that. Really I am lucky Doc has been so patient with me. I think he knows I have been pretty clean up until recently! LOL. I can't stand the state of the house. I have folded (well... sorta thanks to the cats) laundry in baskets in our rooms, and all over the couch. LOL. UGH. I have half done dishes and no counter space. The floors are clean. I did them yesterday and the day before. The toilets are clean. LOL. PRIORITIES. OK so Doc cleaned them... a week ago...

So between getting the house under control over the next few days I will be sewing these Halloween costumes. yea, I know, right? Trust me... There will be pictures. I guess I shouldn't say that too loud, Doc might refuse to go trick-or-treating with us!

I have also been fighting some depression. This is not an easy confession to make. I have not officially quit school but Lulu and her 'issue' has made it near impossible for me to go to school and if I do get to class then she makes it near impossible to focus and concentrate on my studies. 32 hours to go and I can't get there. The depression over this has not helped my mood or my security/insecurity issues.

Doc has been super supportive in this issue. When I wanted to start screaming and give up and send Lucy packing to Georgia he said "No, that won't solve anything" and as always he was right. He even suggested that I take off of school until Lucy at least starts kindergarten. I don't know about that but he is most likely right there too.

Did I mention I don't process stress well? Some of you know this about me. Some of you might have gathered this about me. It is true. So, on top of being sick, all of this other stuff has happened and I have just been a flat out meanie. I have been mean to Doc, I have been short with the kids, I have ignored the cats (as much as they will let me) but I have stuck to all the the things with getting the bird out of puberty. LOL. She is the only one that has not been at the end of my temper (on the verge but not ....). Anyway. I know I am being childish and I know I am being selfish, it just hurts so bad to have to say... 32 hours and I can get into a graduate program and realize my dream... oh wait... you can't do it... and then (the tears come) I have the mental battle ... your not the only one routing for yourself here... there are people you don't even know that offer you words of encouragement everytime you post something school related. Here and Facebook. I don't know what is worse... disappointing myself or you guys! And then... IF I can just get out of this semester alive.... or at least with a GPA, lol, then I can take the rest off until Lucy starts school. But in all honesty, I just don't foresee it going down like that.

I am very fortunate to have Doc. I don't know why he puts up with me. I broke down and started to cry the other morning. I kind of walked away when it started because you know... lol... I don't do stuff like that... but he knew.

Next week we have an appointment with Vanderbilt for the kids and we will begin the fall into what if anything can be done about the potential mental health issue with Lucy.

I know that none of these things are the end of the world. Even combined they are far from difficult to over come. It is the whole thing with school that really is causing a depression which is making the other things seem overwhelming and I know this. I am not stupid (though I do post like I am). This is life! Welcome to my world.

Don't give up on me, OK?

9 Comments:

Blogger Jeni said...

Ya know -with all those pressures and stressors -I agree with Doc. Take the time off, rest, deal with the kids in the best way you can and when the younger one goes to kindergarten, start back to school then. You are still young enough that waiting that length of time isn't going to make you 50 when you graduate -that's how old I was after completing four years straight, with two teens in high school and working full-time, then part-time and trying to run a house too and no one like Doc around for some support! I really had no choice as my age was against me to start. You do have some choices so make one that will ultimately be the most beneficial for you, the kids, Doc -and yes, for your learning and the grades too!
Now, who's giving up? Not me, not you. Ask Doc -he's probably the expert in this but who said "I have yet begun to fight!" (I think that's the quote I'm aiming for but still may not have it right. He'll probably know though. (Mind reader that he can be about these things much of the time!) Anyway -I don't know anyone right about here - Doc, me -lots of others -who are giving up so don't you do it either! We have not yet begun to fight!!! RIGHT!!! Now, go sew those costumes, Girlfriend!

10/25/09, 8:43 PM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

Jeni - The new sewing machine that Doc had bought Mrs S that she never even took out of the box is malfunctioning! EGAdS. By had tonight, I have got Doc's sewed together except for the spots but I am going to use Iron On Transfer! I have got Mandy's skirt sewed together but I don't know how to hand sew elastic... egads again! I am avoiding the 21 piece monstrosity! LOL.

10/26/09, 1:17 AM  
Blogger dr sardonicus said...

No one wants you more to get that degree than I do. We will find a way.

10/27/09, 4:21 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

Blogging for us mere mortals can be very cyclical - I get into weeks-long ruts where nothing is happening, then suddenly, half a dozen posts flood my brain.

And more often than not, blog ideas languish on my mental back-burner far longer than they should just due to time constraints. This is why I almost always compose off-line in short bursts and store notes in Google Docs. That way I can add, tweak, & revise from home, work, wherever, until I have something cohesive to post - or simply pitch in the bit bucket. Maybe not the most efficient way to write, but hey, it works.

10/28/09, 5:48 AM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

Rob - that is a great way to write. I also like to use the recorder in the car on long trips and voice my blog then type it up. Been a long time sense I did that tho!

Thanks for the honest critique!

10/29/09, 2:03 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

I haven't tried this yet, Jenn, but I've read that with Google Voice, you can leave yourself a voice mail message and it'll actually transcribe it into text! Might be a great way to compose rough drafts on the go...

10/29/09, 1:13 PM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

ROB - I have heard about it and about mobile blogging. My voice recorder is digital so I can upload to the computer but I am not sure how to put on blogger. I know you can because I have seen it on other people blogs... I just have to research this! And I am still in the middle of the great move so I don't know where the adapter is at this moment!

10/29/09, 3:30 PM  
Blogger Rob said...

Jenn, I have 1 remaining Google Voice invitation. Shoot me an email if you'd like to try it out!

10/30/09, 10:26 AM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

I don't know your email addy!

jennifer-ganoe@comcast.net is mine.

10/30/09, 12:47 PM  

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