Wednesday, September 09, 2009

09.09.09

Quote of the day: "I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages." William H. Mauldin (1921-2003)

Song of the day: "Nothing out of me" Lennon Murphy

We have a whole bunch of fuss over today being the last unique day for the next 100 years. I declare, NOT TRUE. I feel that every day can be a historical day.

Especially when you are able to let go of your issues and accept the things you can not change. Life is about living and not about feeling sorry for yourself. Life is about change. Life is a fresh breathe of air every day and for which we should be grateful to be here.

Yesterday I did something I did not want to do. I let go of the strings that bind me to the people I love and prevent me from loving them as a whole person instead of pieces of a person.

When we lived in 29 Palms California, I had a poster. I was not really allowed to have posters or put things on my wall but for some reason my mom did let me buy one poster. The deal was that I could not put it on a wall but instead we used Elmer's glue and mounted it on a piece of cardboard and I could have it leaning on a night stand. Which worked for me and it was a great compromise. I got something that I felt I needed. It was a picture of a horse running In a smaller print was an anonymous (at the time, I am sure by now someone has laid claim to it) "If you love something set it free, if it comes back to you it is yours, if not it was never meant to be."

Over the years this quote has never held true to form. Or rather it has. Yesterday I let it free. All of it. Control is not the answer to a problem it just festers jealous emotions. I don't have room in my heart for an inferiority complex. I don't have the time or energy to feed jealousy. I have had to much pain over the years and I just decided that this is me and my life and I am not going to restrain the people I love and make them conform to what I need to make me happy. It took a lot of courage on my behalf. No one ever comes back. Except Joe. And Joe has nothing to do with what I did yesterday.

But Joe is like a bad penny or a sunshine friend. Or Joe could be a good luck penny as he has been there for me in some of my most difficult times. At one time we were really close. We were the best of friends. He is a second on my list of favorite people ...Right NEXT to NYPINTA! He and I have spent years engaging in endless conversations about nothing in particular or everything critical to life the universe and everything. But he comes and goes. When he goes he is gone for very long periods of time and when he comes he expects us to be friends on the level that we were when he left. And friends that you were close with are like your favorite pair of jeans. You can't help but to try them on again and have that familiarity back in your life.

This time the jeans were uncomfortable. Or the situation the jeans were in made me uncomfortable. He has a few issues to work out and will be in a facility for a few weeks to work the issues out. I think he is very brave to take this monumental step to a new tomorrow. He will be in my prayers. I wish him the best. And when he comes out of the facility I look forward to hearing about his trivals and trials.

And that is what 09.09.09 means to me. Joe's first step to taking that breath of fresh air.
And that is what 09.09.09 means to me. My first selfless act.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

i dont get the 09.09.09 either, i mean next year we will have 10.10.10.

9/9/09, 11:46 AM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

which will follow by 11.11.11 and 12.12.12. after that it is done.

9/9/09, 1:58 PM  
Blogger dr sardonicus said...

after that it is done.

Until 1/1/2101; doubt any of us will be around for that.

Where the heck do you know Lennon Murphy from? She's not exactly a household name. She's from Hendersonville - I remember when we first moved down here she was a 14-year-old playing coffeehouses. Somebody gave me 5:30 Saturday Morning a while back. I despised that disc for ages but it wound up growing on me a bit. The Album Project will get there sometime around 2019.

9/9/09, 3:25 PM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9/9/09, 3:54 PM  
Blogger Dr Jenn said...

ok then it is done for our generation or until the next millennium like they are talking about. c the link. That was before the post was written.

9/9/09, 7:00 PM  

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