Thursday, March 12, 2009

Purge

Ok, I am going to do a free write exercise to clear my brain. I did this over at Jan Maders the other day and it made for a refreshing day. What you do is pick a topic (in free write you don't have to stay on topic) and you write without inhibitions as to structure (sentence) or spelling, or grammar. Oh heck, isin't that what I do on most of my posts anyway? LOL. SO here is to a good day.

Here is a link to UTUBE for A political thing. Tasteless but funny if it don't work for you please email me and I will forward the video to you in win movie format.

Start:

The clouds were awesome this morning. The sky was a picturesque blue with streaks of pink and white clouds running ramped through it. My eyes would flick to the sky on our morning drive, my child was talking about something to do with dreaming she was in a cartoon and I could not focus on her all I could do was steal my glimpse of the sky every few miles. There is something great about volcanic skies they are so pretty. Pretty is a state of mind. I am fighting a battle I can't win this week. I am not sure how to feel about next week. In one way I feel like I am looking at impending doom and in another way I feel like I am looking at the best event of my life. I feel like there is trouble in paradise. I don't know it could be the silent treatment; it could be just me and my Darwinian ways. I don't know. I am getting to the point where I don't care and I won't go on Monday if this keeps up. I am human and therefore I need. I can't focus on anything. I can't focus on Doc, I can't focus on my kids, I can't focus on my studies, I am like existing in a brain dead state of discombobulating. I feel like I am awkward and cumbersome and just out of sorts and moving forward in slow motion that is trying to get into reverse. Then at the same moment going forward and not looking back. It is about giving up freedom, it is about gaining freedom, it is about love and trust and things I have never allowed myself to have. It is about disappointment and fleeing from the fact that my life may be engulfed by things beyond my control. I am fighting a battle of falling in (to a pile of it) and not getting hurt. Part of my fear is my inhibitions when it comes to trust and I trust less when I have been offered no reassurance and reassurance comes from the sun rising and the moon setting and not paying attention to forces that are out there to drawn me down and out and over and across and through the woods to grandmothers house we go a riding big white horses that are the means of which to get from point a to b and be the person I need to achieve.

Uth huh, u figures it out. LOL. I wrote this and was distracted a dozen times at least.

Song of the day: "Believe" Cher

Quote of the day: "Not
to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality." By Bertrand Russell

4 Comments:

Blogger The W.O.W. factor! said...

Wow! I followed along without getting distracted in the least! What a purge of your brain!
Will you come to my house and purge mine for me???
It is such a quagmire..
Hugs dear Lady...your heart and mind will meet in the right place!
I know it will.
~~Your toasted Cyber Sis~~
Barb

3/12/09, 4:34 PM  
Blogger The W.O.W. factor! said...

Yo Jenn! Where is that post showing in my feed? I'm hungry...and what ..."you got to saygh".., I might want to read!

3/13/09, 10:08 PM  
Blogger Red said...

sorry I had pulled it into draft, it wasn't done, I sent it from MS Office to blogger and then pulled it back to post the picture... Hang on a second.

3/13/09, 10:39 PM  
Blogger Renie Burghardt said...

Good purge, but hmmmmmmm!!!


Hugs,

Renie

3/14/09, 7:18 PM  

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