Sadly I am deeply amused by what happened yesterday. We (LuLu and I) were driving cross town on one of the rinky dink back roads (the back way into the bank) and we come around a corner and there was a road block. Now, they have been doing license and registration checks sense May and I have gone through a few of them, but … the key word is but… I was alone. Yesterday I had Lulu with me. I opened the window and waited for the officer to ask me for my stuff. Why you might ask. Well, because they really don't like for you to pre-empt a command.
I hand my ID out the window. He checks the date. Walks to the back of the vehicle and checks the sticker on my tag (our registration sticker goes on our license plate) comes back and says, "I need you to lower your back window." I do this. He looks at Lulu. She smiles at him and says, "Hi." I watch her in the rear view mirror (after I adjust it so I can get a good look). This is what transpires. Me, I kept a straight face.
Officer: Well, Hello there.
Lulu: looks at him real funny and draws in a breath.
Officer: Little lady, I am going to check your seat belt.
Lulu: draws a deeper breath, turning a pinkish purple.
Me: Ain't no damn fool, places hands over ears and tells the officer "She is going to scream"
Officer: It is OK mom, I deal with this every day.
His hand is moving very slow… or is that mommy vision? He touches the seat belt. She looks him dead in the eye
Officer: I have to check it.
He leans over her car seat to check that the car seat belt is clasped and pulled tight through the car seat. His body touches Lulu, only slightly, but he touches her. His head is about even with hers.
Lulu: Bad boy bad boy, wat u do n day ome for u. Bad boy bad boy… (Cops theme song) Lulu animated this by wagging her index finger under his nose.
Me: Stolic expression. Honest I thought there was going to be a screech heard around the block.
The officer laughs. Lulu goes into her second verse. The officer claps and eggs her on and wags his finger back at her. Other officers come near.
Me to another officer: none of you are wearing a Cap Cam… are you? I really don't want to end up on truTV.
Then I watch tentatively in my rear view mirror and the six or so officers gathered around the back window.
Officer: SO, you watch a lot of "Cops?" (spoken to me but lulu answers)
Lulu: no,naw. Gamma do. No, No momma.
Officer (with great humor in his voice but not quite a laugh): Do you like it.
Lulu: Oh yea. Azers! Azers!
Me: shocked, is my 2 year old to be saying she likes the tazers?
Officer: You like the Tazers?
Lulu: Oh yea. (then her deep belly laugh.)
Officer: Mom, here is your ID. Lulu… stay good.
I take my ID, thank him and we are off. He could have written a ticket for my windshield, it is cracked above the wipers but he didn't. He could have written a ticket for the privacy tint on the windows but he didn't. And of all the Disney we watch, why on earth does my two year old to be have to tell the police officer she likes the Tazer shots on t.v.?